Does social media ever feel like it’s taking more than it gives? Today’s episode could be the answer! I’m excited to welcome Ksenia Brief our guest. She’s a podcast host, mentor, and sacred social media guide for entrepreneurs, creatives and healers. Throughout our conversation, we explore the power of vulnerability, the importance of following intuitive hits, and how to weave a new dream outside of the current paradigm of marketing and business. Ksenia shares her unique approach to content creation and storytelling, the importance of being present with what is, and so much more.
Connect further with Ksenia Brief:
00:04:46 Be present for yourself.
00:08:20 Put yourself first.
00:13:05 Be authentically yourself.
00:17:51 Trust in the flow.
00:25:11 Surrender to your truth.
00:28:26 Abundance is your birthright.
00:34:26 Live in the moment.
00:39:35 Pursue dreams with connection.
00:42:38 Gift of connection and love.
00:51:02 Trust your intuition.
00:54:58 Trust the universe’s timing.
00:59:43 Build the reality you want.
01:03:45 Access the divine pantry.
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[00:00:00.000] - Nathan Maingard
Yeah, just around Riddish and Ridgebacks. We had two or three generations of them when I was growing up. Our first one was called Malibu, and then my dad had Zak and Amber, and they're amazing. Melody, I think, was his last one. They're super beautiful dogs. When I saw that picture.
[00:00:21.010] - Ksenia Brief
Any pro tips on understanding them and being with them?
[00:00:26.420] - Nathan Maingard
I was very young when we had them, so all I remember is just how loving they were. They were the best guard dogs because they're hunters and they're bred as hunters. But they're also super friendly with family and people. I don't know. I just found myself very safe with our ridge dogs. How are you finding yours?
[00:00:46.500] - Ksenia Brief
Well, she's five months old and she is changing every single day. But there's just something about her. Well, first of all, I call her Mr. Velvet because she's so soft and just touching her and having her in my lap when I'm meditating has been such a profound trip. I've sat with many different psychedelics. I've done a lot of personal development. But having a dog, to me, feels like what people say about having a child. I haven't had a child yet, but this feels like one of the most incredible and expansive journeys because just the invitation into presence, into beauty has been absolutely life changing. Just waking up, getting her out of the crate, her jumping up on my shoulders and kissing my face, taking her out, feeding her. Then we sit on the couch and we watch the sun rise in the window and the sun just shines on our faces. And she tucks her head on my lap and there's no need to do anything, no need to run anywhere. We just sit and we just be with each other. I wish then when it's just starting to meditate, somebody told me, be with a dog.
[00:01:48.670] - Ksenia Brief
I don't know if I had the right circumstances to have a dog at that time, but she has been such a teacher in so many ways. I highly recommend that for anybody looking to experience more presence in your life.
[00:02:02.940] - Nathan Maingard
That's so beautiful. I'm very much a dog person. My lady, Carly, and myself, she... Carly really brought dogs into my life again as an adult, where I had... We had a lot of them when I was a kid and with the family, but then I started traveling in my 20s and just always was like, I'd love to have a dog, but I don't know how that's ever going to happen. Then I met Carly and she came with four dogs and they were all rescues. There's a whole there's a whole big story. But basically, one of those dogs was a dog named Sasah, who basically became my medicine dog. She just chose me and she was never further away than a few meters or a few yards from me at any time. And she really gifted me so much when I was in a very dark place. And she just showed me unconditional love. However, if I was lying in bed binging Netflix for two weeks, feeling like I just wanted to die, she's like, Cool, I'm with you. I love you. You're amazing. Let's hang. And that was profound. And she actually, unfortunately, passed in a very traumatic way where she ran away and just disappeared.
[00:03:09.350] - Nathan Maingard
We never found her. But even in that, she reopened the abandonment wound that I experienced when my mother disappeared for nine months when I was 10 years old. And I felt the things that I never got to feel when I was 10 years old, that no one could hold the container for me of what that really... I just don't even remember that time. And then when Saa left, it was like, oh, that's what that feels like.
[00:03:37.400] - Ksenia Brief
Isn't it fascinating, the divine weaving of that? How even through a dog, you can re experience the human lessons that you didn't have the capacity to experience. But then a dog comes in and opens all of this up. It's incredible. I know for us, it opened up a lot of childhood wounds as well for me and my husband both. I never expected it to be that. But I feel like when we're open to lessons and to being present on the journey, the lessons come in through whatever way they can. If they're a stranger at a grocery store, there's a dog, through a bird, through a dead squirrel on the road, the lessons are just everywhere. Once we're open, we're just magnets for that expansion.
[00:04:17.740] - Nathan Maingard
Yeah, it does not make it easy. I'm curious to hear if you're willing to or open to sharing, what are some of the lessons that have come through having your puppy? Sorry, what's your puppy's name?
[00:04:29.540] - Ksenia Brief
Her name is Shaq. Shaq. Her full name is Shaqtee Shaq diesel, mostly named by my husband. I chimed in with Shaqtee a little bit. But for me, one of the biggest lessons moving through my life in the past few months has been presence. And this idea that when I'm present for myself, great things happen. Only until I started only when I started dropping into what that means, I realized that for a lot of my life, I wasn't present for myself because I was putting others' needs first. And so really remembering that I am the main character of my life, that my feelings come first before anybody else's. And somehow advocating for this puppy and having her in my life has been an invitation to go even deeper into that. This one time we went to Gati, which is a homemade coconut ice cream shop in Austin. Incredible. Anyone who ever comes to Austin, Nathan, if you come visit, I got to take you there because their ice cream, there's a pandan leaf flavor that is absolutely game changing. It's life changing. It's so good. So we went there with the puppy after one of her puppy classes when she was a tiny, tiny baby.
[00:05:53.240] - Ksenia Brief
She's almost 60 pounds at this point at five months. But we took her there and she was exhausted after the class. She couldn't move. She just wanted to be in my arms. She didn't want to jump down and sniff everything like she typically does. So I was sitting there eating my ice cream and holding her like a baby on my chest. And I never thought I would be the person who treats their animal like a child. I thought it was such a funny thing. But once she came into my life, there is no other way to treat her. She is our baby, just not in human skin, but in this beautiful fur. And there were people sitting next to us at the table, and they were speaking another language. But then they also dropped in a couple of lines in English, and they said something like, Oh, look at these people treating their dog like a human child. And that brought up a whole spectrum of so many emotions, like not looking good, the fear of being judged, being uncomfortable with somebody just sitting right next to me, almost in my energy field and having a bad opinion of me, not pleasing everybody and feeling like, maybe, are they right?
[00:07:11.120] - Ksenia Brief
Do we just leave? And so it's been an invitation since. Anytime I go anywhere with her, there's some people who are dying to talk to her, want to hug her, want her in their face and want to know everything about her. We'll walk from the other side of the street and say, Wow, your dog is so beautiful. I love her, Ducie and Rich back. And then there's some other people who she might accidentally sniff because I can't constantly hold her, she's still a puppy. And they will look at me and give me the stare of death. And so for me, it's been such a profound lesson that even something that I feel is so pure more and so beautiful can awaken not the nicest emotions in people. For some, just out of respect of some people have allergies or trauma with dogs. With respect to all of that. But I think some people are just not open to love. And to some people, love feels like pain because they're working so hard at pushing against it, probably subconsciously. And so for me, keeping coming back to, Okay, I'm not responsible to what everybody else around me is feeling.
[00:08:21.040] - Ksenia Brief
My job is not to please them. I'm here with myself, with my inner child. I'm here with my dog. And it's first about our experience. And it's so funny. I'm already hearing the parallel voice in my head of maybe somebody's listening and thinking, oh, this sounds so selfish. But it's like, if we don't first... What I know for myself, when I don't first put my own peace and my own presence within myself and my family first, then there's no chance I can source it from the outside. It really comes from being comfortable with what is in every moment, not trying to control everybody's reaction. Being so deeply present and grounded in my own heart, trying to do my best, trying to have fun. And the rest is just not up to me. And sometimes lessons for me or for others will come in the most inconvenient, uncomfortable, and triggering ways, and that is the best medicine. So that's a little bit of a journey of some of the things she's been bringing up.
[00:09:25.920] - Nathan Maingard
Yeah. You remind me of a story that I heard on Laura Psychedelic Leadership podcast that has become one of my absolute core mantras, where she was discussing a separation from her partner, and they'd been together eight years and they were husband and wife and they were separating. She said, amicably, they were doing it consciously, but it was obviously still really hard. She was at some point having a conversation with a mutual friend. I can't remember the exact words used, but it was something like complaining a little bit to this mutual friend. I'm like, Oh, well, he this and he that, and having a bit of a go. And the friend, at some point, he just paused and he said, You know, Laura Dawn, the only thing any of us can do is to get right with ourselves. When I heard that, that just I just think of that all the time now because my experience with plant medicines when I started working more deeply with IOSCO was the first time I really sat in a circle of 50 people held by honey coin from the Amazon, really just the most in integrity. I sat there and at some point I was like, I just didn't know whether I should sit up or lie down or fall over or purge.
[00:10:38.880] - Nathan Maingard
I was looking around trying to work out, trying to decide who I should be or how I should show up based on how other people around me were doing it. It was so overwhelming. That lesson there was both, I have to at the end of the day, it is my choice how I show up. At the same time, my choice will have an effect on someone else. If I'm loudly purging because I'm like, Oh, this is so hard for me, that is going to have an effect on the people around me. And that's okay. But it's to acknowledge that and know that. So thank you for that story. I really resonate. Yeah.
[00:11:12.140] - Ksenia Brief
I love that you bring that up because what came to me is a picture of one of my first ayahuasca ceremonies. I remember I was single at the time, and the person seated next to me was somebody I found very attractive. And the whole time, all I was thinking until it broke through at some point. I didn't purge, but at some point I did allow myself a little bit more space to actually be with myself. But the first part of the night, I was so focused on how's my hair? How's my white outfit? Is he going to think I'm attractive, is he looking at me? All of those things that I had spent so many years leading up to that moment, worrying about and trying to look good, like the culture of magazines I grew up on of where this lipstick and this guy I will notice you wear this perfume instead of focusing on the inner state of how can I be so comfortable within myself, walking through life with joy that I become a magnet for everything that's meant to be in my field and there's nothing to grab, there's nothing to own, there's nothing to prove, there's nothing to defend, there's nothing to promote.
[00:12:23.180] - Ksenia Brief
Those are just the lessons that came with time. But it really came out in that one ayahuasca night and boy, it takes so much of our energy. And the thing is, people like you and I, people who are listening to this podcast, typically are often people who walk into the room and have the strongest energy. But when we forget that and when we start calibrating our responses to the world based on how others are responding to the world, we are robbing ourselves of the gift of presence, but we're also robbing everybody around ourselves of this permission to be with how we're feeling truly within instead of constantly checking in. It's so exhausting to be constantly checking in.
[00:13:05.120] - Nathan Maingard
It truly is. Well said. I feel like one of the terms that came to me in a different journey was enough is enough. And it's an interesting term because when people generally say that in English, it's like, my understanding is enough is enough. It's like, I'm done with this. Enough is enough. I've had enough. But in that moment, I realized, no, enough is enough and enough is not static. So I had the sense of sometimes I do need to be the person who has the floor and is shining the light as I walk in and offer the light to the world. And sometimes I'm the quiet one who's just sitting, holding, sometimes I'm the one crying on the floor while someone else is conseling me. But in each of those moments, can I be present enough to be that Nathan? Because that is enough. Enough is enough.
[00:13:54.660] - Ksenia Brief
And considering that maybe you being the quietest person in the room actually is when you're at your most impact because your energy is still radiating. Because when you're in that authenticity and allowing yourself to be fully where you're at, people feel it and they feel that permission. It's like, oh, okay.
[00:14:11.620] - Nathan Maingard
Yeah. Enough is enough. Yes. Yeah, I love that. That's a good reminder. I think for me, one of my shadow pieces... Well, I've gone both ways at times. Sometimes it's been take up so much space because I feel so small. Other times it's like, I don't want to take up any space because I don't want to tread on anyone's toes. And then I'm also being very small. So yeah, I know both those states.
[00:14:35.600] - Nathan Maingard
So this actually guides me into... So one of the reasons that I reached out to you for a conversation is because I just really admire the way that you present specifically in the world of social media, how you show up so authentically, and also how you're like a bad ass businesswoman. You can tell me if that label doesn't feel appropriate for you, but you seem to really have a beautiful structure to how your offerings in the world and your podcast is awesome and listening to you, I get this invitation always to why am I fighting so hard? Why does this feel like such a slug and such a... It's so much effort just to put stuff into the world. I guess the question that I'm coming to is, how do I use social media? How does anyone where we all connected through these online channels, how to keep that authentic when in a way social media is definitively or part of its definition is that it is performative because there is a response being like the comment, the like, the share, the message, the purchase. How do you navigate that beautiful authenticity of trusting in the flow, being present while also doing that in the sphere of online worlds?
[00:15:51.040] - Ksenia Brief
Thank you for the beautiful reflection. I remember when we first connected, you sent me such a beautiful voice message on Instagram just reflecting similar things you just said. I could really feel your heart and I was really moved by it. Thank you for reaching out. There's so many dimensions of what you just asked me about. Let me start with the beginning. Do I resonate with businesswoman? Yeah, I am an entrepreneur and I have been since I can remember. I've had businesses and projects since I was legally allowed to work. I've always loved expressing myself through different creative outlets, through being of service, and then making money. At first, I would be motivated to make money so I could travel outside of my annual family vacations then I started investing it and buying a nice camera and a nice external flash so I can be a photographer at events. And it all built on itself. And when I look back, it all makes sense of why I'm a storyteller. I've always been a storyteller. I've had a blog since I was 15 years old, since I learned about the concept of a blog. I think the first invitation is to anyone who is in this place of like, how do I show up?
[00:17:15.310] - Ksenia Brief
Where's the space between authenticity and marketing and making sure I'm showing up consistently and sharing about my work, but also not overdoing it? I think recognizing that there's so many shifts and expansion transitions going on in the world overall to Earth, to socio economic systems, to everything, to education systems, to health systems, to everything. And of course, it's happening for us, too, in business and marketing and how we express ourselves. Firstly, giving ourselves grace to be in between. I know that for me, for years, I identified deeply with this idea of being like this bad ass businesswoman entrepreneur social media consultant, maven podcaster, speaker, whatever. I really rejoiced in all of the labels. Then at some point, well, at a very specific point when I had a sacred mushroom ceremony with three and a half grams of still assignment. Leading up to it, of course, there was a lot of boiling up of like, Something just doesn't fit. I feel like I'm wearing an outfit that just no longer fits, but I'm scared to let go of it because there's a certain level of worldy success and recognition associated with all these things that I've built online.
[00:18:36.220] - Ksenia Brief
And the invitation was very clear. It was, Okay, it's time to release all of these identities, all of your attachments to previous successes, because that's the only way forward. And that's the only way to grow is to step into that unknown. And so for me, the journey has been dissociating myself from some of the projects I've had from my blog, Breakfast criminals, that a lot of people found me through when I was posting acai bowl recipes 10 years ago, to Conscious Social Media program, which is a program that I taught that combined energetics and very strategic business and meditation and ritual all together in one place to help coaches and healers and entrepreneurs use social media in a way that is in alignment with their inner algorithm and not just in service to how we've been taught to do marketing. That was a program that was very dear to my heart. And the message was very clear, just unravel it all, pause it all, cancel all the domain renewals, don't launch anything. Just be. And it was so deeply uncomfortable because that's the way I knew not only to make money, but also that's where I got my value from.
[00:19:55.940] - Ksenia Brief
That's where I got my validation from. And so from there, it's been this deep journey of, Okay, well, first of all, my value and my worth in the world doesn't come from producing things, from launching things, from getting money in my bank account. My only value is in being fully present here now, listening to the messages that I'm receiving. And then when I'm called to share something, when I'm called to put something out, trusting myself enough to release it and to put it out there. And if no messages are coming in to move and launch anything, then trusting that there's more things to brew on. And it's such an interesting thing, too, because I feel like in this paradigm of spiritual entrepreneur, a lot of people I've seen have quit their jobs and now being spiritual entrepreneur, however that expresses for you. It could be a coach or a podcaster or a content creator is a full time thing. And I've been there where I've had pressure on making money that way. And at some point, to me, when there is pressure on making money from it full time, there's less joy in it. So I've always diversified.
[00:21:10.780] - Ksenia Brief
There's been coaching and consulting. There's been social media programs. There's been content creation and brands. There's been podcast sponsorships, there's affiliate marketing, and all these things are still bringing me money. So it's really nice to have a diversity. But I just want to go back to that grace. If you find yourself in a place where social media is the main way you bring in money and you feel like something just doesn't fit, but you don't yet know how do you let go of it, especially because you rely on it for income, there is a way where you can let go of the grip and while continuing to run a business, make space to listen a little more deeply, to slow down a little more deeply, and always leave space for the highest and most aligned opportunity. I know that anytime I've said no to brand sponsorships, they were like, It sounds good, but something about it just like, I don't know. I'm not excited to promote this brand or this product. And I've said no and trusted that there would be something better. There always has been something better. So it's this continual choice to take the leap into the unknown and let go of all these external needs of showing up a certain way or in a certain schedule.
[00:22:28.240] - Ksenia Brief
And one of the biggest invitations that I received was from my friend Deja James, the story doula. I did a session with her before my psychedelic journey with Mushrooms, when I was just like, What do I do? I have this this thing that I'm sitting on and I can continue running it and I know so well how to monetize it and people know it and it's seemingly going so great but something just doesn't work. And she said, Well, why don't you just show up to your community and tell them where you're at? Tell them exactly this. I have this thing, you know me as this, I've been showing up as this, but I don't know, something... There's something else coming and I don't know what it is yet. And I hadn't thought about doing that. So this like, removing the layers one by one constantly and being like, Okay, so what's behind that? What's behind that? And removing the stage and speaking to our communities online, not from a stage, but as if somebody's on this chair next to me and I just made them a cup of cacow and they're visiting. And what would I actually share with somebody who's right here next to me?
[00:23:31.960] - Ksenia Brief
And that's the vision and the intention that I hold with every interaction online and on the podcast of, okay, what is the most true and what is the most present? And how can I share from that place and removing the stage? So that's the first big layer that comes in to your question.
[00:23:52.240] - Nathan Maingard
Thank you. Yeah, remove the stage. One of the things I really want to you exploring, which you mentioned at a moment ago, this idea of so spiritual entrepreneurship. I'll just give you my brief story just to preface and contextualize the question. So about 12 years ago, from a very young age, actually, I'll start even at the beginning. From a very young age, I was as, and I'm not thinking I'm unique in any way, I'm just sharing my story. But I was highly sensitive and I knew what I wanted was connection, joy, playfulness, authenticity. I didn't have those words for it, but that's what I was trying to express. And so very quickly, I was bullied and I was put in detention, and I was crushed by various external societal structures that said, No, that's not what we want from you. We want this. I tried really hard for a long time. I tried alcohol and women and being a player. I put on all these different identities to be like, Well, if I can seduce enough women, then they'll see that I'm a good man. And obviously, no surprise, it was horribly painful. Over time, I hurt a lot of people.
[00:25:04.450] - Nathan Maingard
I hurt myself. And eventually, that inner voice just kept nudging me, nudging me, nudging me. And I started turning back towards myself. And around that time, around 2010, I started seeing a teacher. He combines all these beautiful things, dream reading, Tarot, counseling, breath work, and he only works through word of mouth. He's based in London, UK. I got connected with him. I started working working with him. Within a few months of working together, just a few sessions even, he just said, Nathan, you know that this work that I'm doing is the work that you could be doing. This work is you could do this. This is a thing. I just want you to know that. I was like, Yeah, okay, fine. Then tried very hard to do anything but that for the next 10 years. I went into a music career, singer, songwriter, and it went well. I had a successful patron at one point, reflecting some of those same things you've been sharing. Then I properly burnt burned out. Burnt out, depression, crashed, just my patron crash. I didn't fulfill promises with album I was putting out. I just completely dark night of the soul that just so seriously.
[00:26:12.600] - Nathan Maingard
And through that process, again, that message kept coming up of surrender into your bigness, surrender into the service. And so eventually I surrendered and I did a life coaching course, an amazing life coaching course. And I did a breath work facilitator course And all of this over the last just three years or so. So, and I've started facilitating. L ast year was really my first year having clients and moving into that world more consistently. And Now, I'm co facilitating already two retreats this year. And I just had three different people reach out within the first week of January just to say, Nathan, I want to come do a session with you, in person, in the real. Just amazing. So hat's the positive. That's the beauty and I'm feeling it. And Then there is this online, the paradigm of the spiritual entrepreneurs. I see how many people are out there being like, Follow my thing and you'll fix all the stuff through my 10 step program. There's a part of me that feels, and this is still my work, obviously, but there's a part of me that I feel a resistance to actually putting myself out there because I don't want to be seen like that, because I'm scared that people will think that I'm doing it because I want to make loads of money.
[00:27:28.560] - Nathan Maingard
I do want to make loads of money. Of i absolutely do. I want my family, I want my woman to feel freaking cared for. And I want my dogs and my house and my home and my off grid land. I want it to be nourished and juicy and hot tubbed and saunered and fully in for all of that. And that's not the place. That's not what is driving me. I have tried to avoid this manifestation of Nathan for so long. So yeah, I guess I just would love to hear you speak to that, This current push around the wellness industry out there of of like, we're going to save you. And how to navigate that as from, again, the authenticity from an authentic place.
[00:28:09.320] - Ksenia Brief
First of all, I do see that reality for you, The juicy land, the dogs having whatever treat and meat or whatever they eat they want, the sauna, everything for your lady, Just that abundance that is your birthright. And I think I really appreciate how you framed all of that because because the first thing is stopping avoiding the fact that we like money. Money is great. Money allows us to have this freedom to buy a sauna, to go on a trip, to invite somebody to do something they would never have a chance to do because we have that abundance and we're able to extend it to them. It's interesting how I feel like this whole archetype of poor struggling healer is coming to the surface one final time before before we all collectively dissipate it because there's this old, funky smelling thought of if your intentions are pure and if you want to offer value to the world from your heart, then there's no way you should be excited about money. They can't exist at once somehow. There's a lot little fly that like, as I said that, bye fly. I don't want you here. But it's just so not real and so so not true.
[00:29:30.790] - Ksenia Brief
I know for me, one of the biggest teachers in that has been my husband, who has really, we've been together for almost six years. He has really held this space for me to step into being more comfortable with money conversations, with negotiations, with not feeling apologetic when I'm discussing money and just feeling a number, a price and associating it with the value and the depth of the presence that I bring and not feeling in any way guilty about wanting that. So I think that's like the first thing is stopping villainizing money because in my experience, money opens up so many beautiful possibilities. And then you talked about human connection. What comes to mind is I think a lot of times when we sit down to think about social media, how do we create a community? How do we connect with people? People t's like, how do we create that possibility for human connection? Well, what I invite you to do is go and create human connection outside of social media. Because when we go out in the world and truly feel that, that energetic blueprint, it's going to translate in how you show up online and you don't have to say anything.
[00:30:49.640] - Ksenia Brief
I know that I just went to a magical, super expensive family trip to Turkey. It was given me in a vision. And there was was a huge miracle that occurred, like a whole big family healing and reunion for the first time in four years. I was the one who envisioned it and brought it all together. I was holding a lot of energetic space. And once I got there, I still feel very much in that place between spirit and human. I went so far into this spirit world without any medicines, just holding that space for miracle and watching it happen in front of my eyes. Eyes. and that allowed me, when I was on the trip there, to just be present to those human connections. And Turkish people, they're so incredible in a sense that they're so direct. There's no niceties, there's no pretend smiles. If they're smiling, you're actually getting that care and connection. Me and my parents were in Istanbul for a couple of days before we went to our next destination. And as I usually do, before I even land at a place, I mapped out all the coffee shops shops I wanted to go to and favorited them on my Google Maps and made a route where I'll go first.
[00:32:07.660] - Ksenia Brief
And one of the coffee shops, there was only one that was open at 5 30, and I was waking up with the jet lag super early. And so we went to that one with my dad before our morning walk. And it's a tiny, tiny, tiny coffee shop. And yet the person who owns it, he roasts all the beans right there. You can see all the equipment. He He makes sandwiches and he makes the most killer macchiato. So good. I could tell he loves his craft so much. And Then one morning, when we're sitting there, we kept coming over every morning. And one and my dad are sitting, having a soulful conversation. It's still dark outside. And We watch what looks like a homeless person come up to the shop, and The owner notices him and they notice each other. And The owner calls in the person to to go inside the shop and gives him a sandwich and a coffee. And there wasn't really a lot of words exchanged. It felt like this unspoken agreement they have established in this routine and this ritual. And I was just so moved by that. I feel like that I was already feeling the soul of the business and the person who runs it.
[00:33:24.020] - Ksenia Brief
But that moment of him caring for his community and another human being in this way and like and waking up extra early. He was telling me he wakes up at 4 AM to make these sandwiches and then giving it away. I was just so moved by that. And Then by the last day, we told him, Okay, this is our last morning. If you don't see us tomorrow, it's not because we don't like your coffee. We're actually leaving to our next destination. I tried to give him a tip and he just wouldn't take it. He even gave me some of the money that I try to pay him back. For me, I've been been really deeply in the topic of beyond money, what are motivations beyond money, what exists in the field beyond that chase for that money and that security. I feel like for me, I needed to get to a place where I have a certain amount of financial abundance to allow myself to go to that total freedom in creation and in being. But we don't have to do that. I saw in the example of this coffee shop owner, I owner, can't imagine him making a ton of money.
[00:34:31.840] - Ksenia Brief
It's a tiny little place. But the freedom that I felt in him and being in his gift and being taken care of by the community and taking care of the community in return and just the pure joy joy of doing what he loves and being where he knows he's meant to be. Beyond the chase. That is what I think is so beautiful beautiful to connect to. Because, again, when we think about, okay, well, showing up on social media, sharing about my program, what's the intention and really deconstructing the why? Well, it's to have people know about my work. Why? Well, so that they can sign up for my program. Why? Also that I can work and be my gift and also make some money and buy things for my lady and my dogs and my land. Why? Why is that all important to you? And Then when we keep asking that why and get to the very bottom of it, it, what I'm really curious about at the moment is what is beyond all of that? And From my personal exploration with it, what I found beneath the chase is just pure infinite beauty and peace. And There's nothing to chase and there's nothing to be.
[00:35:50.590] - Ksenia Brief
There's no next project to grab onto. There's no next launch to plan. There's just this pure infinite bliss of being that is that is endless, no beginning and no end.
[00:36:03.850] - Nathan Maingard
Yeah, Thank you. That tied in. I love the way I got so emotional when you were telling that story.
[00:36:13.130] - Ksenia Brief
[00:36:14.260] - Nathan Maingard
A good one. I just love how that story just reflects the pure simplicity of actually living. I think it's so... In the beginning of this podcast, every episode I say this is a podcast for for down to Earth seekers and free people. T to me, the down to Earth part is so important. It's the critical piece within that. I came here, I embodied, and I believe we all embodied, but I can only speak for myself, I embodied to be embodied to embodied. I'm here now. This is where I am. And so that idea, being able to have the most profoundly what I perceive or what I receive as from you, the most profoundly spiritual experience in a coffee shop, witnessing the interactions interaction back and forth with this man making coffee that he loves to do. And that's the most beautiful thing that could ever happen. And then you brought it fully into because that's the infinite dance. It's just the bliss of here I am having this experience.
[00:37:20.180] - Ksenia Brief
Beyond the chase. And I extended that, or I don't say I, feel but the divine through me me, extended those moments of human connection into so many beautiful moments during that trip. When we went to the Grand Bizarre, which is this enormous bizarre brimming with leather and ceramics and gold, I love gold. I got this necklace at the bizarre. But I walk in with my parents and we're tired because we've been walking around the city all day. But I'm really set. I want to buy some cotton, some linen, I want to buy some leather, I want leather pants so bad. And I want gold Because the last time I I was at the Grand Bizarro was 18 years old, half my lifetime ago. And at that time, I was dying to get a tattoo. I was dying to get a tattoo for my 18th birthday. And I wanted to get the initials of my family. And at the time, I actually spelled my name with an X, Xenia, because in Australia, where I grew up, somehow that's how they spelled it. But that's the tattoo I wanted to get, LNDX. And then my parents said, There's no chance in the world while you're living under a roof.
[00:38:26.800] - Ksenia Brief
My dad said that you're getting any tattoos. And I was like, Okay, fine. Fine. i'm going to Turkey on a student exchange. I'm going to save up some money and I'm going to go to the baza rt and I'm going to get a custom gold necklace with initials. So that was the last time I had bought gold at the baza rt. And this time I was coming back like this different woman, a married woman with an American passport, with so many of my earthly dreams fulfilled. And it felt like this special moment of, Okay, how am I going to celebrate all these things that I've been coming into? And I walk in and there's just all these tourists and all these people, and it's so loud, and things don't have prices on them, which made me feel really uncomfortable because it meant I needed to have a conversation every single time I was curious about something, and it just felt really overwhelming. Sometimes I'm in a mood for that, and sometimes I'm just really not. And so what happened is I was led to a place where I was able to have a genuine connection where the salespeople in front didn't feel like they were grabbing on to me, trying to lure me in, where I just expressed curiosity.
[00:39:29.800] - Ksenia Brief
Curiosity they answered my question, and that created this space for an opening. And I think that also applies to social media. It's like when there's not like, get this. But I have this amazing thing. If you're curious, come in, take a look. You can touch it. We can talk about it. I can show how it helped me. And so I ended up in the back room of this leather store, back back room. And then the owner comes in from the storage And we had a whole moment of I was buying a gift for my husband and a belt for myself. And again, the directness of them and the crudness of their sense of humor. My dad was getting really exhausted and he was just falling asleep in the chair. And then look at my mom, the owner of the shop, looks at my mom, he's like, Why don't you just get a new husband? And I was like, When in America, like an American society, would you allow yourself to even think about a joke like that? But it was just so refreshing. I had such a fun conversation with the owner. And same with this gold that I ended up buying, just this this honesty and this truthfulness, Okay, I have this business.
[00:40:32.950] - Ksenia Brief
What do you want? Not like trying to push anything that I don't want, which I had several experience right before that, but like this exploration, Okay, this is what I want. This is what's important to me. And then beyond that, weaving this human connection, getting to know each other a little bit. To me, that's been really the biggest gift. It's like these... Whatever happens on the surface, on the surface was me coming into shop to buy something. Something. but whatever happens, when we allow ourselves to go a couple of steps beyond that and truly look the other human in the eye and feel them and hold that eye contact, to me, that presence is the biggest gift. That store owner, he really allowed himself to be seen and we held that eye contact. Or this one time we went to a huge shopping mall, which I had no interest in being while my parents were shopping because it was just all these same brands that we have in America. I was like, Why are we even here? Here? but then I found this little bizarre within the shopping mall where artisans were selling things that they made with their own hands.
[00:41:38.630] - Ksenia Brief
And I found this woman who made ceramics that were just so beautiful, and I could feel all the love that went into them. And then right next to her, there was these ceramic eyes paired with crystal beads. So necklaces, like ceramic and crystals. And I ended up going crazy and buying gifts for for all my friends. And I ended up connecting, most importantly, with the two women who did it. And they shared their stories in their broken English. And turns out that they're both, I think, in their 50s maybe, they both quit their full time jobs to pursue this dream. One of them went all over to the university to study ceramics and to start this ceramic studio and business. And the other one left her job in fashion to partner with her and make these necklaces out of the ceramic eyes and I was like, This is incredible. Are you on ETSI? I just really was moved by the love I could feel in what you have here. T They're like, This is actually our first collection. This is the first ever time we're allowing the world to see this. Wow. I feel like I was sent there to be this confirmation that they're on the right path, not just through me having this exchange with them where I gave them money and they gave me the product, but by looking them in their eyes and saying, This is incredible.
[00:42:58.560] - Ksenia Brief
I feel every every bit of intention and love you put into it. I would love to see you on etsy. I would love to see you sharing this on Instagram. Just like The world needs this. Please continue. To me, that is the biggest gift when the divine speaks through me and puts me just in the right places to affirm that to people. And Then again, beyond the money, money becomes just a small part of that chain of exchange. But what's really beyond that? Yeah, it's interesting how for me, it keeps coming back to that topic of what's beyond the money, what's beyond the chase.
[00:43:37.760] - Nathan Maingard
Yeah. I think for me, you've just said so many beautiful things. I'm just actually taking a moment. Oh, my God. That's awesome. I think there's that beautiful line that's coming up. I don't know the exact words, but I think it's from Moulin Rouge. The greatest gift is just to love and be loved in return. I think it's something like that. When I hear you speak speak about looking someone in the eyes where you have been a witness, without having to know the story, you come in and you're like, Oh, you feel it. You walk in. This There's something here. This is special. And then to have that witnessing that love when they see your love, I just can't think of anything more beautiful.
[00:44:18.630] - Ksenia Brief
And the same with social media. When you come into somebody's page, it's not even the words that matter. It's not how they formulated their offering that matters. Yes, there's layers of of appreciation we can have for the artistry with words and with images. I love all of that and playing with all of that. But beyond that, sometimes we just land on somebody's page and there's just a frequency. And We don't know what it is, but we know we're meant to be connected to that. I think that happens when we allow ourselves to live a rich life outside of social media, when we allow ourselves to experience the richness of connection and applying our work to ourselves more than in our own lives. And then we become billboards for whatever it is that we want to share with others. And the natural outcome of that is the exchange of money.
[00:45:12.420] - Nathan Maingard
I am so resonating with that right now because I'm living that right now. I feel like you are the mirror, the messenger, the storyteller who's just helping me to connect with that because I think last year, Midway, it's been on and off for a while. But really last year I had been working with a lovely coach, and I set an intention in one of our sessions. I was like, I love connecting with people online. I've been doing it for years. I get a lot of joy out of meeting people all over the world and of sharing my videos, my poems, etc. I love it. I really want to start working with people and connecting more in person. That feels like I'm not getting enough of that. I set the intention. As I expressed, within the first week of January, three different people reached out to come and sit on my deck and work with me. Also, Also, I've now been invited to do a retreat that is with three other facilitators who I deeply admire, really, really skilled people on the path. They are so excited to have me as a part of it. We're doing that in person at someone's home.
[00:46:13.700] - Nathan Maingard
It's just like, Oh, my God. And so That energy that I've been running, ice bath and breath work circles in person. And That experience of like, it's like a fish returning to water in a way where I just go, I just so feel at home in a circle of people facilitating. Facilitating i just feel like I can support people in going into themselves, and it just feels so right. I actually want to segue this slightly into another question, although I'll give you an opportunity if anything's come up for you in that reflection.
[00:46:45.120] - Ksenia Brief
I just want to celebrate celebrate. I feel like the joy you like on the edge of your seat when you talk about this is like, Wait, all these things that I want the most, they're happening. I'm in my gift and others see me and invite me. I just really want want to acknowledge that and celebrate that because that's huge.
[00:47:04.380] - Nathan Maingard
Thank you so much. Yeah, it is huge. It's a gift. That's the word. There's a term I used to use a lot and I lot when I was playing a lot of gigs live, and people come up to me afterwards and they just, Thank you so much. Thank you so much. I'm there going, No, thank you so much. Without you, I would have been in an empty room. Then I realized over time, it's like, Well, thank us us. Because thank me for showing up. Thank me for making the effort to put together this experience. Thank you for showing up, for being a part of it. T hen when they say Thank us, they're acknowledging that they co created the experience. T hat's the gift for me is the Thank us. When I get to say Thank us, I have like, This is the right thing.
[00:47:48.660] - Ksenia Brief
I love that. Yeah.
[00:47:50.940] - Nathan Maingard
Thanks. T here's something you mentioned actually in when you were filling out your intake form, which was now a while ago, and it was about the importance of the following intuitive hits. And you've talked about this quite a bit in this conversation already, but I'd like to open the door to really go into that. And you also expanded on that, saying the leaving room to change your mind moment by moment. And you expressed how you quit your nomatic year halfway through. And I would just love to hear you speak on that, on intuition, the intuitive hits, and how that shows up for you and how that might serve others who are.
[00:48:29.580] - Ksenia Brief
Listening. oh, yeah. I love that the nomatic year example came in. So the example that I spoke with in my intake was in 2016, I had just gotten my green card in the US, which was a whole journey to get to. And the big vision was once I get my green card, I have this freedom. I'm not tight. I don't have to stay in any job. I'm not tight to any place. I can just do whatever I want. So I had planned to travel for a year and work nomatically from wherever I was, working with brands and doing content, thing that I knew best to do and consulting, social media stuff. And I had applied for a program that they advertise is super competitive to get into, work and live with without entrepreneurs, will take you to all these amazing cities around the world, from Bolly to Argentina and a bunch of places in Europe. And I don't think it was was actually competitive because they ended up shutting it down. Spiler alert. But they made it seem like it was. And I remember when I was accepted, I was just over the moon. I was like, Wow, I'm important and I'm chosen.
[00:49:42.260] - Ksenia Brief
And I'm one of these cool entrepreneurs. But I couldn't wait to just start the program, So I decided to start traveling a little bit early. So the program was starting in January, and in September, I packed up my bags in my apartment in New York City and just went traveling. And i drove across the US. I went to Brazil, I went to Paris. Then I ended up in Russia for the holidays with my family. New York just kept calling me back in. There kept being opportunities that I just was so excited to say yes to. One of them was Prata had reached out and hired me to do a breakfast for them, an artistic recipe design design to match their current fashion collection. And for me, somebody who was growing up in post Soviet Russia, dying to be part of the glossy world, I would see in magazines, knowing names of all the fashion designers to be invited into high fashion in such a way. At that time, it felt like such a recognition. And so I said, yes, I flew in. I designed this beautiful coconut yogurt pathway with spirulina that was all layered white, yellow, and blue.
[00:50:58.000] - Ksenia Brief
And after that, there was another opportunity. And so something just kept pulling me back into New York. And January was coming up and I was just like, after I've traveled on my own, I don't know if I need this program. I just really enjoy booking an Airbnb and then letting my intuition guide me to places and people and things. And I showed up in Bolly completely alone and I ended up meeting people and having amazing synchronicities and conversations and healings. And all of a sudden, boom, after I put that request out into the universe, I get an email saying, hey, the program has been been canceled. Here's your money back. I was like, Whoa, what? This is amazing. The message was clear. It was actually not to even continue traveling on my own, but to go back to New York and to create a home base and to go on a dating app. And here was somebody I was meant to meet. It was very, very, very clear. I went back to New York. The most incredible apartment found me. It was on the Upper West Side. Side t was newly renovated. It had a fireplace, which you don't actually ever find in New York, especially in smaller studio apartments that have view of a garden.
[00:52:11.120] - Ksenia Brief
It had a Trader Joe's right next to it. I was in heaven. The price was just right. Everything was amazing. I started dating and I had a lot of fun dating and a lot of heartbreaks as well. The whole journey of finding my worth all over again, picking myself back up, finding my value within. Then I met the person who became my husband. And it was so clear. And in the moment where I met him, I remember when we were at the point where I felt comfortable saying, what area of the city I live in, he said, you're joking, right? And he thought I was some creep that just stalked him and figured out where he grew up because where I was living was the block where he grew up out of all of New York City. And his mom still lives there now. So there was just so many many interesting synchronicities around the whole thing. On our first date, I was wearing all these crystal bracelets, and he picked them up and said, Have you cleared these crystals? You don't know where they came from. I was like, What are you talking about? And He taught me right on the side of spot at the coffee shop how to clear the energy of crystals just with your hand and with your intention.
[00:53:20.840] - Ksenia Brief
Then we went to Namaste Bookshop, crystal shop on the 14th street on our first date. On the way over, we started talking about sacred mushrooms. Mushrooms. on our second date, he took me to a me to a shamanic circle. Later on, he told me that it was his way of testing how far he can be himself and show the things he's into. Because previously, he didn't often meet people who were cool with all the out there stuff and all the Burning Man experiences he'd had. I was like, Dude, bring it on. This is my reality. Only looking back, I I now know that I was meant to be in New York City because I was meant to meet him. I was his first date after he had set an intention, Okay, I'm going to get serious now. I'm going to hold space for the one I'm going to marry. I was his first date. I can't say the same thing about him, but I was his first date. And If I wasn't there at that moment, just the divine timing, I don't know how all of that would have worked out. I don't see us ever crossing paths in another another context outside of that dating app.
[00:54:32.200] - Ksenia Brief
At the time, I was time, I didn't know exactly why I needed to go to New York and find an apartment and resettle after telling the world that I'm going to be traveling and even getting the Instagram handle @my nomatic Year, and People coming up to me in Bolly and saying, Hey, are you my nomatic year? There was so much confirmation and coolness that I felt around this whole creation and this project, but that wasn't my path. And so That has been been an lesson that comes in over and over. The fact that this was my truth at some point and I was guided to do it doesn't mean that I need to come to completion with it. What if it already has come to completion? And it has because there's something else that is knocking on my door and asking to be in my field. So can we trust ourselves to switch paths midway because we're called to without the fear of feeling like we're failures or we're incomplete or we're not keeping our word? We are are humans and we're constantly shifting and it's okay to change. And It's okay to launch a program and have it be very successful.
[00:55:39.880] - Ksenia Brief
And People still ask me about it. They're like, Where can I buy it? I heard your podcast about your conscious social media program. Where do I sign up And saying, It's not offered right now and I don't know why Spirit guided me that way. And It doesn't really make sense because there's still so much value in it. But that's where it's at at the moment and I don't need to know the full story of why or or if it ever will come back into life.
[00:56:03.720] - Nathan Maingard
Sure. Thank you for that story. And yeah, The resonance for me is this change from musician. I've been in love with lyrics since I was... I don't know, since as long as I can remember, knowing how to speak. I just felt words are just so amazing. They're so powerful. It's like, what a wonderful thing. I started writing songs when I was 14 and always wanted to be a musician and eventually committed at 28. Was like, Right, I'm doing this thing. And so A few years ago, not even that long ago now, it would have been the year before last, I had finally decided I'm going to do a breath work facilitator course. I'm going to start looking in a different way of my career, of my life, of my calling. And It was like, Oh, my God, what am I doing? I've been playing music. I've got this whole thing. My sweet lady, thank you for just synchronicities and the beauty of the the messages of the universe because she purchased me an Astrology reading, a full reading for my birthday. And it was a friend of ours, Margarita, an amazing Astrologer. And Margarita, in the reading, she's like, Listen, Nathan, I know you.
[00:57:15.380] - Nathan Maingard
So I know that you're a professional musician. I know that's what you do. And creativity is in your chart. It's super important for you. Really, really important. She said, But if I didn't know you, I would say that your money, the way that you work, would be teaching, coaching, facilitating. And And she didn't know that I had just signed up for this breath work facilitator course, and I had just taken this step on this whole new path. And that feeling of the universe rewarding me following something that in a way, logically, I couldn't work it out logically. I was like, Why am I doing this? This is crazy. So when I hear you, I hear that what it took to really follow that intuition. And then you met your husband, your husband to be. That's profound. It's amazing.
[00:57:58.380] - Ksenia Brief
And it's so beyond logic. What else comes in? You've mentioned several people on your path, from the person who gave you the terro reading in the UK with all these other modalities, to this person who affirmed your decision to go into coaching and teaching. I'm just so grateful because I've also had people on my path that just in the perfect moment have been these mirrors of what's possible, reaffirming me on my path. And sometimes just one phrase phrase can change everything. And it really stays with us. And I'm just so grateful for all the teachers in my path. And I'm reminded that when you and I and everybody listening, when we listen to our intuition and we do what we're called to do and we embody the lessons that are coming through us and we share them, that's what we're doing for everybody around us. We're passing on this torch of activation. And it's one of my my favourite infinite loops of life is when we do that, keep passing on the torch, whoever needs it right now. Hey, you. Okay, you need a reminder? Here you go. You need a reminder? Here you go. I need a reminder so bad.
[00:59:10.770] - Ksenia Brief
Give it to me now.
[00:59:13.020] - Nathan Maingard
Yeah, exactly. It's amazing you mentioned that around the other people because I just did a year review of a different year review a few days ago. It was based on something Tim Ferris suggested, which was just to go through peak moments. So what were the peak moments, relationships, interactions, people, people actions that gave positive emotions and negative emotions? Then take the top 20 % of both, add in more of the positive, the stuff that gave you the positive feelings, and try to decrease the other ones. And when I wrote the list of positives, suddenly I was reading through it again, and I just realized that every single one was so deeply related to people and to otherness, to something out there to either my dog or Carly or friends or whatever, but that there were so many people and other beings to be grateful for that it wasn't... There's a story of like, Well, I did all this. Cool. I did it all myself. And it's like, no, not at all. The feeling of thank you so much, everybody, for reflecting such a beautiful life that I can be a part of. God, what a gift.
[01:00:20.780] - Ksenia Brief
[01:00:21.470] - Nathan Maingard
Us. Thank us. Yeah. Okay. There's a few little things, but I just want to ask you one more more question, and then we're going to continue this conversation in the little bonus round because you've mentioned sacred mushrooms a few times, and I do want to get into that. But I want to end this open conversation with the question that I ask every guest, which is, and you can take your time with this, but it is, when you hear we are already free, what comes up for you?
[01:00:53.760] - Ksenia Brief
Life beyond the chase of needing to be anybody but who you are now. Now. it's this remembering of beauty and freedom, infinite beauty and freedom that we always have access to. And we feel it when we simply take a deep breath and we allow ourselves to be exactly right here, right now. And one of the biggest breakthroughs that I've been moving through that's opened opened up so much space is identifying different areas of my life where I push against. I make up a story about a person or situation, and I just dwell on making up stories about it to validate how I feel about it, just Just so anti, fighting against. I realized that 99.9 % of it is so made up. It's so old, It's not even true anymore. Anymore. and there was a particular situation the other day where I was like, What if I just explore what's there? What if I stop making up stories? I have a conversation with the person and see what happens. And what happened was the most beautiful connection, the most beautiful resonance, the most beautiful synchronicities. And all the stories I was holding were such bullshit. And that propelled me into a whole other realm.
[01:02:27.110] - Ksenia Brief
I felt so in this state state of expanded consciousness, I was tripping for days from the space that opened up because I didn't need to push anymore. And so to me, that's what freedom is. It's like, can you allow yourself to stop pushing against pretending that you know better and instead be with? And if there's certain things you need to address or conversations you need to have to stop the pushing against, so see it, have it. To me, it was really uncomfortable to have that conversation. But I did it. In my mind, it would have been very uncomfortable. It took me a lot leading up to it. I'm like, No, I don't want this. I don't need this. And then I just picked up the phone and had that conversation. And it was just amazing. It was so freeing. So that's freedom is how can you channel your life force energy to build the reality that you want instead of walking around and being like, No, I don't like this. I'm I'm going to fight this, pushing against. That pushing against takes us out of our embodied experience of the soul and the body and just gets us into all these social and health and political conversations that are not serving anybody.
[01:03:45.780] - Ksenia Brief
Back into the body, what am I building? What am I for? What am I creating? And that's true freedom. It's waking up and listening moment by moment. What am I meant to create today? What am I meant meant to access in the divine pantry of everything and bring through this human vessel and channel out into the world today?
[01:04:08.000] - Nathan Maingard
In the divine pantry of everything. I think that's officially just become one of my favorite lines.
[01:04:14.920] - Ksenia Brief
My mentor, Michelle, she at some point mentioned the divine pantry and how we always have access to everything in there. And it just like that visual has stuck with me.
[01:04:25.140] - Nathan Maingard
Yeah. Thank you so much. Thank you, Kassania, for showing up and and for being you and reflecting and just being so available. And This conversation has been exactly what I needed. I hope and I'm sure and trust that for anyone who's listening to this, this has been an empowering experience. And Really, the only other thing I'd like to ask you is where does the listener find you at this point?
[01:04:50.240] - Ksenia Brief
Thank you. It's been so fun. Thank you for the space that you hold. Where? The podcast is the heart and center at the moment of everything I I do, Web 8 on all platforms. My website, Ksenia brief. Com, K, S, E, N, I, A, B, R, I, E, F. Com. And I'm Ksenia brief on all platforms. Youtube, not so much, but I don't know what's called to bring it up just now. I guess something's pulling me into that. But TikTok, Instagram, that's where you can find me. I'd love to hear from you and know what moved you in this conversation, what you're taking away and and how you're playing in your own life.
[01:05:33.180] - Nathan Maingard
Cool. Thanks again. Thank you so much, Ksenia. Awesome. Well, let's get into. If you still feel energized and up for just a few more questions, just like maybe 10 minutes or so. Totally. Cool. Right. This one will only be heard by the lovely folks in the community. Thank you to anyone who's listening to us. Thank you for supporting.
[01:05:51.780] - Ksenia Brief
This one's going to be explicit. Let's go crazy.
[01:05:54.440] - Nathan Maingard
Let's go crazy. Okay. Clothes off and it gets really weird. Well, I'm sorry. You mentioned, I love how you talk about magic mushrooms as sacred mushrooms because I've started using that term more consistently, although I love the word magic and magic mushrooms. One of the things you mentioned in your stuff I'd be interested in exploring was singing to mushrooms. D oes that relate to sacred mushrooms? D o you know what that was about?
[01:06:25.020] - Ksenia Brief
Yeah, I love mushrooms. The particular story that is is behind that is one of my main spirit guides that I've come into awareness with. Not so long ago is my grandfather, passed when I was 15. He came into my awareness first. The first time I ate a chocolate with some Psilocybin in it. It was a very small dose. All I did was lay in bed and cried to snout time car. But I felt a presence. I felt like We all had those journeys, haven't we... Totally. I was with my dear friend who introduced me to the medicine world altogether, and I felt the presence of this grandfather energy entity. And with time, I recognized that it was my grandfather. And that was days before meeting my husband. So Somehow he was meant to usher me into that connection. And He also came in in about two years ago in a big, big journey that I had and blessed my belly and said that we are meant to have a child together with my husband. And for a time, I thought maybe my child soul will be my grandfather. And I really communicated with him quite a bit while on Mushrooms.
[01:07:51.440] - Ksenia Brief
But I don't think that's the case. He was really here to hold the space for us to expand into that intention of having a child together. And recently, a couple of weeks ago, he actually left the Earth. And I had a very vivid dream about that. It was very clear. It wasn't like, I need to wake up and look up what this meant. It was like, All right, I did my job. I'm leaving Earth now. And so why this all relates to mushrooms is when I was a child, we would spend a lot of times in the countryside, we had a house that my great grandfather built, just a little wooden cabin And next to other cabins where we would spend summers gardening. There was no running water, so we would collect rainwater. And then my job as a triple, the obsessed with everything fire.
[01:08:44.740] - Nathan Maingard
Interesting. Is that a bird? It's a South African bird called the hardy d ar, which is just the noisiest. And now is the time as the sun's getting close to setting, they return home and the noise they make is just so intense. Anyway, that's what.
[01:08:58.270] - Ksenia Brief
You heard. It's so funny. I think when I was interviewing Bhoj Vardi for my podcast, we had the same experience. These birds just went crazy. Anyway, my job was to heat up the water. I would make the fire in the stove to heat up the rainwater so that everybody takes a shower. Then one of the biggest activities was going into the forest and foraging for mushrooms. I was just obsessed with it. There was something about the whole ritual of waking up early, putting all these layers in, bundling up, up, putting your rain boots on because it's very wet in the forest early on, and being one of the first people in the forest to go to all the mushroom spots and find all the mushroom, see what showed up overnight. My grandfather, he would come with me and he one time told me that, you know that if you use your voice and you sing to mushrooms, they will show themselves. He was a great singer, such a beautiful voice. And i knew nothing about voice or singing. If anything, I had all the opposite stories of why I should stay quiet and not express myself. But in the sacredness and the quietness and the seclusion of the forest, I felt safe to sing to mushrooms.
[01:10:15.000] - Ksenia Brief
What do you sing on just like, whatever's on your mind, whatever's on your heart, you just walk and you make up things and you just express your voice. And so that lesson really stayed with me. I sing to mushrooms and they did show themselves. And only many, many years years later, I realized that the metaphor of all of it, of the importance of expressing your voice and knowing that when we show up from the true authenticity and walk through life, expressed without blocking anything because we think of how it's going to sound or how it's going to look, what are they going to think? Everything just appears on our path and we're always guided. And I actually recorded a song that is going to be releasing this year. It's been like one of those bucket list items items for me to sing and to share my medicine that way. And it has come true in the most beautiful way. And I got to work with some of the most amazing people, Reggie River Bear, who is medicine song keeper and teacher. And so that's going to be coming. And my grandfather played a big role in that way before I knew anything about sacred mushrooms or psychedelics or anything, really.
[01:11:27.440] - Nathan Maingard
That is is so beautiful. What a beautiful thread of a life relationship to carry and to be still carrying and still expressing and still singing. I'm so glad. Thank you for telling that story. I feel I'm complete. I'm very happy to end it. Thank you for that and honouring your grandfather.
[01:11:55.460] - Ksenia Brief
His name is Viva. Well, that was his nickname, which is also Interesting, right? Life itself.
[01:12:05.220] - Nathan Maingard
Yeah. That's so beautiful. Okay, well, thank you again. This has been such a pleasure. Thank you for saying yes to a stranger across the world and coming on for this experience. Yeah, it's been a real pleasure.
[01:12:22.580] - Ksenia Brief
Thank you for having me. Thank you for the beautiful space you hold and thank you, everybody, for listening and coming into the remembering of of your own truth as you listen to ours.
[01:12:34.670] - Nathan Maingard
Okay, I'm going to end the recording. I just want to share one more thing with you. I think if I just.