Overcoming Self-Doubt: Nessi Gomes on how to conquer inner criticism so you can share your gifts with the world #59


Ever felt a deep urge to share something meaningful—a song, a story, or your true self—only to be held back by doubts whispering, ‘You’re not good enough!’? You’re not alone, and you’re exactly where you need to be.

Today, we dive deep into how we can overcome those doubts to confidently embrace and share our inner voices with the world. Joining us is Nessi Gomes, whose transformative journey through music and self-discovery has turned her fears and insecurities into profound strength and inspiration. Born on the island of Guernsey and enriched by her Portuguese heritage, Nessi’s music and life story embody the beauty and challenges of personal transformation.

Get ready to reclaim your voice and conquer paralysing inner narratives. In this episode, Nessi shares her transformative experiences and insights on:

  • The Healing Power of Singing: Discover how Nessi used her voice to overcome childhood insecurities.
  • From Guernsey to the Heart of the Amazon: Explore her transformative experiences with sacred medicines.
  • The Science Behind the Song: Learn about the neurological impacts of singing.
  • Vocal Odyssey: Uncover the secrets of her workshop that transforms voices and lives.

Links to Nessi Gomes

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[00:00:00] Nathan Maingard: Have you ever felt called in the depths of your being to share something deeply meaningful to you, maybe a song, a story, or simply your true self, but a nagging doubt pulled you back and convinced you not to do it. If you've heard a voice inside telling you you're not good enough, no one cares. You're not worthy. Well, you're not alone. And you're in exactly the right place. We all have unique gifts inside of us.

[00:00:32] And yet too often, they remain hidden silenced by our inner critics. Today, we dive into how we can overcome those doubts to embrace and share our inner voices with the world.

[00:00:43] Welcome back to the, we are already free podcast with your host Nathan Maingard, where we remember together that simply we are already free.

[00:00:52] When you hear the words, we are already free, what comes up for you? Acceptance. Change. The shift in awareness. Human beings are so powerful. That's so much more. Everything is love behind it. Breaking the chains of your own minds. That which remains. Nature. Getting out of the matrix. We're sitting on the treasure and it's already unlocked. We are already free. You're free. You are a walking map. Have always been free. You are always free. Already free. We are already free.

[00:01:19] Nathan Maingard: Joining us today is Nessi Gomes, whose journey through music and self-discovery has transformed her fear and insecurity into powerful sources of strength and inspiration. Born on the island of Guernsey and enriched by her Portuguese heritage Nessi's music and story are testaments to the beauty and challenge of personal transformation. If you're ready to reclaim your beautiful voice and overcome those paralyzing inner narratives.

[00:01:47] This episode is for you. Nessie will share her own experience of using your voice to heal and connect truly a journey not to be missed. In this episode, Nessie shares the healing power of singing, how her voice helped overcome childhood insecurities from Guernsey to the heart of the Amazon, her transformative experiences with sacred medicines, the neurological insights into what happens when you sing.

[00:02:13] It's pretty awesome. As well as her workshop, the vocal Odyssey, which is a workshop that transforms voices and lives. As we prepare to overcome self-doubt with Nessie Gomez. Think about how you start your day. Do you struggle with the snooze button and finding your groove of authentic expression? Join me for the free five day morning practice challenge.

[00:02:35] It's crafted to jumpstart your morning with purpose and positivity. Transforming those first crucial minutes into a powerful launchpad for inner peace and creativity. Are you ready to reshape your mornings? Sign up via the link in the show notes to begin your day empowered and aligned. And now please enjoy this mystical musical magical episode with the delightful Nancy Gomez.

[00:02:59] I don't always hear stuff that strikes the chords of my heart very with a powerful resonance. And your music really does that. So as we begin just a really an honoring and a gratitude for what it is you're bringing into the world.

[00:03:10] The question that's coming up for me now is around creativity and like I expressed, this clarity that you bring through.

[00:03:16] And it's something I for sure re continue to wrestle with. I was playing music professionally for 10 years and I kind of burnt out and I'm now doing, I support people through coaching and breath work and other things and the music's still a part of it. But I can feel there's a kind of a block there somewhere around this fear of being heard or fear of not being enough, really, I guess, is a deep part of it.

[00:03:37] And I wonder, did you ever go through something like that? And, or what are your experiences around this idea of having a voice and being willing to give everything to expressing in that way?

[00:03:50] Nessi Gomes: I think I'm still navigating those waters in a way, like where I'm kind of faced with my own creative challenges and blocks and, I think for me, at least when I started getting into music and singing primarily, cause that was my entry was through singing.

[00:04:11] it was always for me, a healing process rather than, a I'm gonna kind of write a song for an audience or, the starting point was The journey with myself and kind of finding music as a refuge and as a place

[00:04:28] for kind of my own self-healing. and,

[00:04:31] So there wasn't, I don't know, like, of course there are many moments

[00:04:36] where I

[00:04:36] struggle with my creative expression or I feel those blocks and,

[00:04:41] but yeah, I think for me, it was very much for many years.

[00:04:48] yeah, it was just the journey with myself and,and using music as a medium for healing my own heart and spirit, and the fact that it went out there. like this body of work, these songs, for me, I just wanted to make an album. And

[00:05:07] 'cause I had collected all these songs and I was like, I need to make space for the new, and that's not gonna happen unless I kind of put them down and,put them out.

[00:05:18] And yeah, I never imagined, I guess that it would be received so warmly from such a, from such a beautiful group of people.

[00:05:29] I dunno if that really answers, but it's kind of an ongoing journey,

[00:05:33] But I guess, yeah, it's, I don't know, my voice.

[00:05:38] I could consider myself to be more of a singer than a guitarist.

[00:05:42] I learned the guitar as a way to accompany my singing. And I didn't wanna be dependent on anybody, in the beginning, when I kind of started exploring singing,

[00:05:55] I was, playing in bands and, back in the day, when we didn't have social media, it was kind of a thing, at least that's what I was aware of is like.during those kind of the nineties, like everybody was in a band, especially where I lived. I dunno what it was like in the UK, but in Guernsey, it was a thing like everyone was in a band or,

[00:06:17] kind of exploring with music somehow. But then at one point I was like, Oh, I just wanna be able to

[00:06:25] do it myself, so I learned the guitar and I'm not like, I don't consider myself to be like a, very articulate guitarist, but what I play, I play solidly

[00:06:38] And,

[00:06:38] yeah, it was like the kind of.

[00:06:41] How do you say, it kind of just supported me in my expression for singing and writing

[00:06:48] Nathan Maingard: Yeah, I hear you. I, it's nice in a way.

[00:06:50] It's like reassuring to hear because your voice is so clear and it comes through so clearly. And then to hear you say, yes, I'm also have my wrestles with my creativity. It's oh yeah, that's that human experience. Actually hearing Rick Rubin. I'm not sure if you know

[00:07:05] Nessi Gomes: I'm in love. He's

[00:07:06] Nathan Maingard: I've,

[00:07:07] Nessi Gomes: He's

[00:07:07] become my guru

[00:07:08] in the last couple of years.

[00:07:10] Oh, Every word he speaks, I'm like, Oh my God, you're speaking to me and

[00:07:15] I'm sure he is speaking to everybody, but it was really,I was listening to a podcast with him and, Huberman.

[00:07:22] familiar

[00:07:23] with

[00:07:23] Nathan Maingard: I've been listening to

[00:07:24] that episode.

[00:07:25] Nessi Gomes: I think it was like the protocols of creativity and, he kind of described how to treat the creative process like a diary entries and I loved that. I don't think I ever kind of thought about it like that, which sounds silly in a way, but, I was like,'cause sometimes my blocks are like, what am I feeling?

[00:07:47] What do I wanna express? And I feel like I shared so much in diamonds and demons, in terms of the human experience. AndI dunno, I didn't wanna repeat that necessarily. I feel like I've done that. And maybe not because I mean, look at love songs. People write a million squillion love songs.

[00:08:06] You can never get tired of it. I'm sure you can never get tired of the human experience

[00:08:11] And there's so many angles to it, but I didn't want to, I guess where I am right now is I don't wanna feel stuck in that place that I have to just talk about my own personal journey.

[00:08:24] It's like. I'm kind of searching for new avenues and a new way of expressing and looking for things that inspire me topic wise and content wise.

[00:08:36] And so I don't feel, and this is for myself, really. it's not for anyone else. It's just like this sense of feeling like I've done that

[00:08:46] and I've been there and I'm like, okay, what do I wanna call in? and I feel like I have so much to share and,It's, I don't know, it's finding my way with that.

[00:08:56] Sometimes that channel is open and for me, I find it. I need a certain kind of cultivation for that to be open. And I'm sure maybe there's some blocks there or some kind of limiting beliefs or thoughts that are giving me excuses, excuses of why

[00:09:16] I can't, so I'm kind of wrestling with that.

[00:09:19] And there's this amazing book by Stephen Pressfield called,

[00:09:23] The War of Art. And this is another epic book. I don't know if you've read it, but

[00:09:29] Nathan Maingard: You've,

[00:09:29] No, you're like the sixth person to recommend it to me. I really need to read that book, .

[00:09:35] Nessi Gomes: Yeah, it's amazing and it's really digestible. Like, I'm not a massive reader. I struggle with reading. And so it's very digestible and it talks about resistance in a really beautiful way. And, yeah, I found that very inspiring.

[00:09:49] Nathan Maingard: Yeah. Thank you. it's, yeah, what I love about Rick Ru, He's actually just gave me, he helped me to unblock a little something. Just listening. I haven't finished that episode yet, but basically it was that kind of part you're talking about where he was saying around, it doesn't matter how it turns out.

[00:10:04] Like just stop worrying about where it goes. Just do the thing. And I, Actually, an old song came back to me from years ago that I played and I loved it. I loved it so much, but I never played it to anyone else 'cause I just thought it's very repetitive. It's basically the same chords and the same melody over and over again.

[00:10:21] And who's gonna wanna listen to that? And it just came back to me, I think after listening to that episode, and I've just sat, I actually recorded a little snippet of it. just a one take little thing that I'm gonna put out on Instagram. Cause I'm like, this song to me is beautiful. Like when I play this song and I sing these words, I just feels so at peace.

[00:10:39] and it feels so true and exactly how I like to sing and lyrics and melody. So I'm just fucking putting it out there and that feels like a liberation. It's because of listening to Rick Rubin. So it's so interesting you having that similar kind of invitation

[00:10:51] there.

[00:10:52] Nessi Gomes: Yeah. And I think also when he talks about the audience being like the last piece, you need to, I feel like I've never done that anyway. I've never written for an audience. I've never written with in my mind's okay, what are people gonna I never go by that. I've never been like that in my life, whether it's regarding creative. writing or just living my life in a diff, you know, whatever.

[00:11:15] But,that's a really good reminder as well. is like, at least for me, when I'm composing or writing, it's primarily for myself, which Diamonds and Demons was, it was really that relationship with myself and kind of dancing with darkness, you know, how to navigate those polarities of,the light and the dark. And yeah. So when he talks about that, I'm always like, yes. And it's really freeing is why yeah, we don't need to write for anybody and it doesn't need to be anything big and it doesn't, doesn't need to be a hit.

[00:11:50] It is just, you just write from your heart and. Like everything else is up to the universe and up to existence. It's out of your hands. You don't have control over something that is, if people will like it or not, you have to like it, you have to love it. And so. For me, that's really a, an important reminder.

[00:12:12] And sometimes I'm, I can be a bit too much of a harsh critic of myself, and that can get in the way, or being a bit of a perfectionist, and that can also be a block, and not allowing the messiness or,

[00:12:25] there's this kind of tendency for instant gratification that the moment you pick up a guitar, you've gotta write a song and forgetting the process of what it takes to write a song.

[00:12:36] And some people can write songs like that.

[00:12:39] I've never been one like that. It takes me time. Like, I mean, Long Way Home, for example, I think it took me about a year to complete. I started with the intro and I was like, wow, this is so beautiful. I love, Bit, I love that,

[00:12:53] I love that, but I didn't know how to take it from there.

[00:12:56] And I put it down and I didn't touch it for a few months. And then, I did some, I don't know, I went out with some friends somewhere and it kind of ignited this relationship with the song again, and it brought in another chapter of the song.

[00:13:09] And I think that's also why there's this tendency in my songs, at least from that album, I how it will be in the future, but some of the songs feel like there's two or three parts.

[00:13:21] It starts a certain way and then it goes into another kind of chapter of the song and then it has this finale, which is also very different to the beginning in the middle. And that I, I wonder if that's maybe 'cause I write them at different times, ofof, the year or, yeah, it's not, I never sit down in a couple of days and bang out a song.

[00:13:41] I wish I could, although these walls, I think these walls, I wrote really quickly. I wrote that in a couple of days.

[00:13:48] Nathan Maingard: What do you think gave that impetus to, to write it in a couple of days?

[00:13:53] Nessi Gomes: I think, I don't know. it was a time in my life. I had left Costa Rica and we were. Back in Guernsey and which is where I currently live and was born and

[00:14:05] raised. and we were in this kind of, we were like in the beginning of this whole new chapter. And, I had. I was recorded, I was in the process of starting to record the album and it felt so overwhelming for me and so big and scary and I felt really I don't know, I just remember really grappling with these really insecure thoughts and, and it was a very kind of, I can be really hard on myself, and it was a very painful period of time 'cause I was, stepping into this new chapter of writing an album and recording an album and, and it felt really scary. And I just remember being in a dark place with it. And so I guess when I'm in those motions and when I'm really in it, not that I'm not in it with the other songs, but it was just easy to express it. it just came out like these walls was a. there's

[00:15:07] it's such a song of the inner labyrinth within our minds, of the,the voices that tell us that we're not good enough and we're not worthy and who are we, who do we think we are, so it felt quite,it just, I was so in it that it was easy to kind of.I didn't have to imagine a time I

[00:15:28] Nathan Maingard: right?

[00:15:29] Nessi Gomes: in that place, you

[00:15:30] know what I

[00:15:30] mean?

[00:15:31] Nathan Maingard: Yeah, you were there, like it was happening.

[00:15:34] Nessi Gomes: It was happening and it was alive and it was just like visceral. And, it was overtaking me and it paralyzed me, And it was just I just remember it kind of, yeah, I had this, I remember I basically, I was meant to be recording with a really big producer back in London and it was just like.

[00:15:55] Oh God, I dunno if I can do this. I feel like such a fraud and, it was, there was so much pressure. I felt so much pressure

[00:16:02] and I, it kind of was from that kind of combination of working with a really big producer that had worked with really big names. And I felt. I just, yeah,

[00:16:17] it was too much for me at that time, I think, I don't know, yeah. And but then I wrote this song and

[00:16:23] Nathan Maingard: And so it, in writing that song, I'm curious because you did something there that you had two choices. One is you could have just stayed in the fear or maybe you did even after but I'm curious did writing that song help you to process that intensity that you were going through

[00:16:39] Nessi Gomes: a

[00:16:39] little bit.

[00:16:40] Okay.

[00:16:41] I don't think it

[00:16:42] fully got rid of it, but maybe it brought a bit of comfort, I think what elevated the fear or kind of made it. Less intense was just going through the journey of making the album. it doesn't sound like a big thing. Like everyone makes albums, but I think, for me, it was a really big step, and I was doing, I was raising money at the time as well for funding the album through a Indiegogo campaign. So I felt really exposed. It wasn't just some

[00:17:13] Nathan Maingard: Very vulnerable.

[00:17:14] Nessi Gomes: I'm

[00:17:14] gonna just do something in my little. in my free time, it was like putting myself out there into the world and it felt really vulnerable and scary and working with these big producers and,and it was just like, what am I doing?I have such a fucking fraud, you know? but yeah, it was, it gave me that whole journey, of recording the album and writing the songs and sometimes writing songs under pressure and,

[00:17:45] I think it gave me a lot of tools how to navigate that now. Like whenever I get those kind of doubtful thoughts, I'm like, Oh, I

[00:17:56] recognize you.

[00:17:57] I know who you are. So

[00:17:59] I know how to somehow.

[00:18:01] It's

[00:18:02] not that those voices disappear, it's just the volume of those voices can come down a little bit more 'cause you're like, oh, I've been there and I know

[00:18:10] this tendency

[00:18:11] to self-sabotage or

[00:18:14] to

[00:18:14] put myself down or

[00:18:16] to

[00:18:16] be hard on myself when I'm stepping into something new.

[00:18:19] And it happens with every new project, anything new that I'm stepping into,

[00:18:25] those voices

[00:18:25] come and they all have the same kind of feeling about them, So it's easier for me to, I kind of identify them and be like, okay, this isn't a sign that I shouldn't do what I'm doing. This is

[00:18:40] just

[00:18:41] part of the process for me, at least, and everyone's different.

[00:18:45] I think I, in general, I've always struggled with confidence performing not necessarily, like when I'm sharing my music in front of an audience, I'm so in it most of the time, of course, there are times when I'm not in it and that can be really painful. But, when I'm in it, it's like, I'm, it's like I had a concert back home last week and it was such a, it was a really beautiful one.

[00:19:12] And I remember just feeling this really beautiful energy coming through me and. I. That enabled me just to kind of get lost. And 'cause sometimes what I feel as a musician in that way is. There's Nessie Gomez, like me now, and then there's Nessie Gomez on, sharing in front of an audience, music. And it's like, there's a real, it's like I'm calling in this kind of alter ego, this very kind of like witchy, powerful woman energy.

[00:19:50] And she feels very old as well.

[00:19:53] Like she

[00:19:53] feels and sometimes I've experienced her in ceremony. And that's been really like, Ooh, like that's been a really beautiful meeting, of

[00:20:01] course it is me, but there's something that I'm able to access through music.

[00:20:07] And

[00:20:08] it feels like a very different version of who I am because in day-to-Day life, I'm a bit neurotic.

[00:20:14] I'm, feel

[00:20:15] quite insecure

[00:20:17] or not so confident. And,sometimes I do,I can be. I don't know, I have my challenges as a human being and then when I'm on stage and I'm really in that connection with music and singing and it always comes through the voice. It's like the moment I feel that connection, it's like something else is coming through and she takes over and it's a very powerful, it feels like a very powerful,energy, spirit. elder woman. Like I just, I feel this real connection to an someone very old singing through me and then I'm gone. And then I come off and I'm like, wow, that was so beautiful. And when that happens, it's really magic. And when, and sometimes there's that, there's a tendency to kind of relive that and hold onto it and call it in and it doesn't.

[00:21:11] And you feel like you're still in this physical body on earth and you haven't quite called the spirit in and.

[00:21:19] So

[00:21:19] it's, you have to be very patient and it requires, also just to be relaxed. And sometimes I'm not relaxed when I'm standing in front of people. I'm just like,

[00:21:30] Ugh. But when I'm, and I'm really in that it's a beautiful moment.

[00:21:35] And I really cherish it when it comes.

[00:21:39] Nathan Maingard: It's so interesting to hear you speak because it just, it brings such a humanness to creativity. And I'm, I think that for many people listening to this could be one of the gifts of this conversation is to, because listening to your music is, and I say this as a musician, like the production level, the quality of the lyrics, the melodics, the quality of your voice, like on every level to me, it's exceptional.

[00:22:00] And so to hear the humanness and meet the humanness as well of like. you know, like I wrote this song cause I was just like, I'm such

[00:22:08] a fake. I shouldn't be here. while I record it's that's amazing. and I think that's,it's helpful because those voices are for so many of us are the reason we don't show up in the world.

[00:22:21] Those fucking

[00:22:22] voices. so yeah, it's helpful.

[00:22:25] Nessi Gomes: I remember, it's not related to music, but, you know, from a young age, like I, my father, I love him, but he's a very fearful person. he's very driven by fear. He won't do things in life, by fear. And I was like, I don't wanna be like that. I don't want to live my life in fear. and kind of miss out on opportunities because of fear. And from a very young age, I was always challenging that in myself, and.

[00:22:53] coming from such a small island like Guernsey, which is like 12 kilometers long and nine kilometers wide, you know, it's a very, it's a real bubble here. It's very safe.

[00:23:04] And, you don't need to challenge yourself too much, because everything is very accessible and comfortable.

[00:23:11] And. I wanted to feel challenged in life and, I remember going to the UK for the first time on my own. I think I was, I don't know, 19 and I just remember feeling so overwhelmed by the whole train situ, like getting on a train, I was like, how do you know that you get to the right place? it just seemed so big and so vast for me. And, I don't know, I think. Yeah, I think for me, it was, I think that was the biggest gift I received from making my album was that Because it's, it feels like a death, right?

[00:23:46] It feels like you are dying, which to some extent it is,

[00:23:50] 'cause it's like your ego,

[00:23:51] right? Your ego wants everything in place and everything to be like, as it is. And

[00:23:56] it's

[00:23:57] doing what it wants to do, to protect you. But sometimes it's, those voices or those fears, they just hold us back.

[00:24:05] And I think for me. The, making the album and putting myself out there was really scary.

[00:24:13] Not just musically, but When I had to think about visuals and photos and I was like, Oh my God. And I felt like past my sell by date. Cause the whole music industry is so focused on young,looking a certain way.

[00:24:26] And I didn't necessarily fall into that kind of stereotypical category. I think things have changed. Maybe not. it's still very, but also I wasn't really, I don't really consider myself to be part of the music industry 'cause I did my own thing. I wasn't signed to a label, everything that I

[00:24:45] did organically and independently with my husband.

[00:24:48] And, but all those voices came up, especially being a woman, and kind of

[00:24:55] Being heavily critical on, the way I looked and feeling like not beautiful enough or, which I know it is. just, it, that's what I passed through, at least, and it was just all these hurdles that I had to get over and,I feel really lucky and blessed to have such a supportive net network of friends and family around me, especially my husband, who really supported me through that journey and believed in me massively. He believed in me way more than I believed in myself. and sometimes that brought a lot of tension because he could see the potential and I didn't.

[00:25:32] And I would, in those early years or early stages, I was just shutting everything down saying,no. Out of fear. and then I guess the turning point for me was when we did release the crowdfunding campaign and we raised $50,000 for the album. And that's when I got my first confirmation from.

[00:25:54] the one I remember being, okay, maybe I'm not such a fraud.

[00:25:58] Like maybe there is something in this that people really believe in and they wanna support because that's a huge amount of money to raise. And nobody really knew me, maybe people knew me from the medicine circles. Cause at that time I was singing a lot in ceremony and ceremony was a very big part of my life during that time.

[00:26:20] it still is, but it's changed somewhat since I've had a child. And, But yeah, it's, I think, going back to your point, I really feel for those that really fall into those traps of believing the voices in inside themselves that tell 'em that they're not good enough, or that they're not worthy, or they're a fraud. 'cause we all have them, I, all of us have them, and it's, I guess it's just finding tools that help us get through it, and. I think it also takes to, it helps when you have a support, of people around you that love you and encourage you and,

[00:27:00] and not to be afraid to fall on your face. And, when I released the album, my husband at the time, he was running all around London, meeting up with labels, like literally just. traveling all the time, just meeting labels and presenting them with the album.

[00:27:18] And I was just like. Oh, so intense, and I felt this intensity around it, like, as if, if they say no, then I am not worthy of what I'm doing. And I was like, no, fuck that. Like, I don't, I don't know where I got this kind of. information, but I just remember like, feeling like there is not one formula, there's not this one formula that you need to follow that if you get it, then you are success. then you've made it. I just remember feeling like I made an album and that was fucking hard. And that for me is success, whether or not the world around me receives it is, it is outta my hands. I don't have control over that. But for me, I have made this body of work. I poured my heart, my blood, my sweat, my tears into it.

[00:28:09] And I'm alive at the end of it, for me, that's success, and then I think my, all the labels were like, nah, they're nice songs, but there's no hits.

[00:28:18] And I just was I was

[00:28:19] just like, Oh, that's I really don't care about that. I did not write this album to make hits.

[00:28:25] And at one point my husband relaxed about it. He is you know what?

[00:28:30] Whoever will want to receive this album, they will receive it. and then he came to kind of the same conclusion as me in the sense that,

[00:28:39] it's out of our hands and. The people that will listen to it and love it, they'll find their way to it.

[00:28:45] We don't need a record label. We don't need to be signed. And I'm so happy not to be signed to a label. I'm sure there's some wonderful ones out there, but I've known, friends being signed to a label and they've just felt a prisoner in it. And they haven't necessarily, it's not necessarily elevated their career, it's just trapped them, And They're just, finding ways to get out of it because they can't, they're tied into such a strict contract that they can't even perform or, and it's God, I don't wanna be part of that,

[00:29:20] Nathan Maingard: Yeah, absolutely. I have sadly too many friends who have had that exact experience where the, and that's the story we are sold. And actually I think a lot of the time the modern society does that to us. It teach, it says, if you can't take care of yourself.

[00:29:34] we,

[00:29:34] you need someone who's gonna take care of you, be that a record label or a teacher or a government or a whatever, some big brother, daddy out there who's gonna take care of it.

[00:29:44] But all you have to do is give up all your rights and then you'll be

[00:29:47] fine. and so there's a beauty in what you're saying. There's a deep, resonance of that, that the people who need what we share are just waiting for it. Like they need it. And come on, let's get it out there.

[00:29:59] Nessi Gomes: Yeah. that, I put it out there. I was touring in 2015. We did our first little tour and it was really like super humble tour. It wasn't anything that it is now, or it was just like, I remember being on my Facebook and saying, Hey guys, I am planning to come to Europe. Let me know if you want me to come and play in your town or your house. So I did loads of gigs in people's homes. And, we, we got a hire car and part of the campaign and the money that we raised from the campaign was also supporting the tour that we did. it was very grassroots. It was very organic, like it was fun 'cause I was like, cool, I'm just gonna rock up and play a gig to 20 people. And, and then I was playing in yoga centers because at that time there was no booking agent or there wasn't also, a, I didn't feel like my music fitted into anything at that point.

[00:30:58] and.

[00:30:59] yeah, it

[00:31:00] was all very kind of organic and grassroots and people hearing my demos on SoundCloud,which was also the entry.

[00:31:10] Nathan Maingard: Like I just put stuff on SoundCloud and people were like, wow, really like this. And, and then people would invite me to their homes or, yeah, it was like that, It's beautiful.

[00:31:21] And there's a few parts that, that you've mentioned that I wanna see if we can kind of get to them all 'cause they're very interesting. But the one is around support. So you've mentioned a few times

[00:31:31] the importance

[00:31:31] of the good support. And you've also specifically mentioned your husband.

[00:31:35] And yeah, I guess I, I'm curious about what was it about his support? He said he believed in you when you didn't believe in yourself. So how, what did that look like practically? And I'm just a bit, yeah,

[00:31:44] just to

[00:31:45] explore a bit more about what that kind of support can look like?

[00:31:49] Nessi Gomes: Well,

[00:31:50] I guess, you know, with my husband, he's one of these guy, he's definitely a manifester. if something comes to his mind, he can make things happen. and He's very committed and total, he poured every inch, every cell of his heart and being into kind of help lift this project because there's so many details in terms of.

[00:32:18] I guess, especially when you're starting out, like the campaign, the, negotiations, the talking to people Like I don't take care of any of the kind of nitty gritty, boring stuff, and my husband does, he's very involved in, the kind of, logistics of, of. my career and he was right from the beginning.

[00:32:40] So he took all of that off my shoulders where I imagine there's so many gifted musicians out there that don't have that. And they have to kind of juggle all these different hats. maybe for some artists, they love it. But I, for me, I just, I would just not be able to Do anything, if it was just

[00:32:59] solo Look,we did a lot on our own anyway, it was just me and Leno and we didn't have a management, we didn't have a booking agent, we didn't have a label, we did everything on our own.

[00:33:14] So we were kind of navigating that between us, he would take the heavy load of emails and writing to people and reaching pe now we don't need to do that so much people, if festival wants to book me, for example, they write to us.

[00:33:29] Whereas in the past, we would just shoot at a hundred different directions going, Hey, we'd like to play at your festival or, that kind of thing.

[00:33:38] But,he was. I feel,I wanna kind of honor him because, like when we do a, when we did the tour last year, for example, I would say 80 of that is just the preparation and then 20 is showing up doing the gig. it's like the talent And the offering, I would say it's a way smaller piece than the, all the logistics and, emails and meetings and negotiations, all that stuff.

[00:34:09] It takes so much time and energy. I feel like it's always been like that. and so to have him. right from the beginning on that level and on the creative level as well. Cause he had, when we made the album, he was involved in the creation of it as well.

[00:34:26] So he was also in a way, part of the production team and,It would help sometimes with writing lyrics.

[00:34:34] If I was kind of struggling to finish something, he would input. his work, you know? And sometimes it brought a lot of tension as well, like being in a partnership with your husband, how to navigate your personal relationship and your business relationship. In the beginning. That was really challenging.

[00:34:53] And, we had a few times people say, it's gonna destroy your marriage and you should never do it. Like. We advised you not to go down there, but it's it was all we knew. Like Leno was so good at what he was doing. I, and yes, there were moments where it brought tension, but I don't know, like it also brought this magic and it was like,

[00:35:16] I don't know who else can replace him, if we do that and I don't have any regrets, even if there has been. moments in our relationship where it has been kind of strained or challenged because you are maybe way too much in the business relationship and not enough in the personal relationship.

[00:35:33] So it's, it is, it's a, you are constantly learning how to dance in that field together. And of course we have a child and there's that element as well.

[00:35:43] And we were touring together all last year and the whole family came on the road and we had a nanny. And so it's, I don't know, I think there's every couple is different. I don't think there's one formula for one thing.

[00:36:00] And it's like, you find what works for you individually and as a family, and you're constantly, adjusting yourself accordingly to make it work for everybody.

[00:36:10] So I don't feel,I don't feel that there's just one way to do things. The same with the music. There's not just one way to release music. I never thought in a million years that I'd be able to have a career with music. With what I'm doing.unless I was assigned to a label. And I'm not.

[00:36:31] I don't have any of those things in place. And

[00:36:34] Nathan Maingard: I have a very sweet humble life and I do all right. It's awesome. And also, like we were saying, the opposite can sometimes be true. The people who do, sometimes people who do sign to labels, that's actually the end of their career. And I know more than one friend that's been true for, because obviously, anyway, signing away their rights to their own creations, which is, yeah. anyway, that's a very sad thing.

[00:36:54] But I, there's another piece you mentioned It's a bit of a jump in terms of topic, but it's something I'm just curious about 'cause it seems like such a big part of your journey. And that is working with plant medicines. it's, and I believe specifically with ayahuasca, based on what you've been saying, I'm not sure, but I just, I'm curious if you feel open to sharing that because there's something very powerful there.

[00:37:14] Like what has that brought you? What have you brought to it? How has that relationship been a part of your journey as a person and as a musician?

[00:37:22] Nessi Gomes: Well I, I mean the first time I I was in ceremony and it was, my medicine, I guess, is ayahuasca and it's the brazilian kind of Dimmy center, Dimmy type 'cause there's different types, there's different, lineages and the, yeah, the first ceremony I did was a Brazilian kind of lineage and, which was very comforting for me because.

[00:37:49] Of course, of my Portuguese roots and sitting there with the book, singing all the songs in Portuguese. Was very healing for me because when I grew up in Guernsey, I had a lot of shame around my portuguese heritage and i. so it felt like it was really, there felt something really powerful and beautiful to sit there and sing these Portuguese songs and be with the medicine in that way.

[00:38:14] but so pre-medicine or pre ceremony, I'd been writing, for many years. And like I said, my musical journey started when I was about 14, 15, I was in many bands. But I would say a lot of my songs,were around heartbreak and boys and, love songs, basically. We all love a good love

[00:38:39] Nathan Maingard: love a good love song.

[00:38:40] Nessi Gomes: Yeah. But, what happened was, and it was literally overnight, I had this very intense ceremony. And. It was beautiful and it was intense and it was everything I had. I just remember many moments of it being like, what have I done? Why have I here?

[00:38:59] And, just just fighting with myself and, mentally, but.

[00:39:04] In a good way, not in a really out of control way, and I remember I just felt so open and so something, in my heart and my, I just felt so tender after the ceremony. And so I went back to my casita and I picked up my guitar and I wrote my first song,from that experience, which is on the album and it's called you guided me.

[00:39:32] And that was my first song that wasn't about boys. It was about, it was the relationship with myself and my journey and it came from a very. different place and, so I would say content wise, or it kind of brought a different perspective. It helped me write from a different perspective rather than just from a place of relationships with guys. Yeah. And then secondly,it kind of, it's, it is really hard to put it into words and I always feel like I'm. Making it sound really weak, the experience when I do that. But when I kind of started to work a bit more with the in ceremony and was invited to share songs during ceremony, and I would have this incredible meeting,

[00:40:30] with my voice, on the tea, And it was really quite a phenomenal. Experience where I really felt like the medicine singing through me. And like, I could hear, I don't know, I was like, I became way more sensitive to different sounds and textures. And I wasn't even thinking about it. It's, It was just, it that's the only way I can describe it.

[00:40:56] It literally felt like the spirit of the medicine was using me as a channel and singing through me. So it also shaped a lot of how I, was using my voice and. I feel even though I'm not doing ceremonies as much these, in the last couple of years. it's made an imprint and it is taught me how to be aware of energy in the space and how to use the energy in the space,to bring a certain feeling or,

[00:41:27] emotion, to really.

[00:41:29] Listen deeply 'cause when you come into the circle and you are,you are there with your guitar and you've the stillness in the room and the silence and you can literally, it's like your antennae. you have all these antennas and you can feel everything. And then it's like that first note and that comes out your mouth and the first note that you play on the guitar.

[00:41:50] And it's it has this sensitivity. Everything just is so alive and sensitive And you can feel it. It's like a, you can almost hold it, and cut it with a knife,

[00:42:01] cause it's so present. It's not just a sound. It's like a whole body experience. And so for me,

[00:42:09] I would say the medicine. it shaped the way I was writing, and it also massively, if not more, it shaped the way I was using my voice and gave me a lot of inspiration as well for how I cultivate that energy when I'm not in ceremony, how to bring that into my, offerings that aren't ceremonial, you know what I mean?

[00:42:35] if it's a gig or something or a performance, how to call that energy, how to remember. It's like, I feel like I have the DNA of the medicine in my body. Like I, the reason I'm not drinking so much is 'cause I feel also at one point that was a clear message. It's You've done enough like now do the work, you don't need to have any more ceremonies in your life, you've drunk enough at least that's maybe I'm making that up.

[00:43:00] But that was kind of what I understood. But yeah, I feel, plant medicine. is mostly ayahuasca 'cause I have experimented and been in other types of ceremonies, but this particular medicine was a, it was very opening for me and It always took me into these different realms and that I could access my voice in different ways.

[00:43:25] yeah.

[00:43:26] Nathan Maingard: Wow. You definitely gave me full body goosebumps there while you were talking just that feeling of, what that where It's not just a sound but it's the whole the universe has come together to create this moment and there's something very visceral about that I don't know if you've heard the quote.

[00:43:41] I just heard it recently and it was so impactful for me, but I think it said something like art is how we decorate space and music is how we decorate time.and I just, because it's such a, it's so ephemeral. It's only existing while it's happening. And so it's the way that we add something to time. and I just, anyway, what you were saying reminded me of that. and I know that you help other people. As well to find their own voices. So I'd love to hear a little bit of just, what that looks like. and also anything else you wanna share about what projects you kind of got going on at the moment or you want people to know about.

[00:44:15] Nessi Gomes: so

[00:44:16] another part of my work that I'm very passionate about is my retreats and

[00:44:23] workshops, which is called vocal odyssey. They were born. And birthed in 2014. And. I, along my journey in the last 20 years, I studied holistic voice therapy. I trained with the British Academy of Sound Therapy in 2014 and 18.

[00:44:44] And I studied, the healing arts, a degree in healing arts. For three years, so music therapy, but it was more, yeah, it wasn't like music therapy as a master's, but like kind of the entry into that field, because when I got into music, like I said it, the primarily it was for from a healing perspective. I was just, I was a pretty, troubled kid and music was my way to support me.

[00:45:13] And so when I first heard about music being like, a approached as in a healing modality, I was like, wow, that is, that fully resonates with me because that was my story. I don't see it just as entertainment.

[00:45:27] I don't see music as just a form of, entertaining an audience.

[00:45:31] there's real healing that happens there because, I experienced it firsthand. So that got me really excited and led me to study in Derby university for three years. and then some years later, I was like, my story is the voice, like this, this is what I'm really passionate about.because I was debating whether to continue into a master's of music therapy, but I'm not really a musician.

[00:45:59] in terms of playing piano or anything like that. The story was the voice. And at that time, I couldn't really find anything specifically around voice work.

[00:46:10] And then when I left Pachammama in 2013, I reached out to a friend who was doing some sound healing studies and her school also offered voice therapy, holistic voice therapy, course,to be certified.

[00:46:27] And I was like, okay, I am doing this. This is really something I'm passionate about and I wanna learn more about. And so, 2014, vocal Odyssey was birthed and because I had people come and approach me and be like, I would love you to teach me how to sing. And I was never really interested in technical stuff.

[00:46:47] I, even myself, I know very little technical things. Maybe I learn, I know more than I, I'm aware of, but I never really studied aspects of singing.it was all very intuitive and, but what got me thinking from that question and that invitation was like, well, you know, I'm very interested in the relationship to our voice, and not just around singing, but the full spectrum of expression, whether it's speaking and, so it planted a seed.

[00:47:19] And so for the last 10 years, I've been working with many people around their voice. And, kind of creating these containers where we can meet our voice, in a safe way and express them in ways that we are not necessarily, maybe we gave ourself permission to, or maybe we grew up in environments where we were very oppressed or we were ridiculed from the way we sounded or, we were told to be quiet or, there's many different layers of how someone can shut down their voice, and I grew up in environment where i, very early on realized that being a girl, you have different rules to being a man or a boy. And even the way I was listened to or because I was a girl or, maybe my point of view wasn't taken as seriously as if it was if I was a guy or, and that's one aspect of it. And, and so I'm very passionate about creating these places for people to really dive deep into this beautiful,medicine and we all have access to it.

[00:48:38] It's just so many of us have maybe had early traumas around it. And then we, are, then we kind of label ourself as non-creative or, that we can't sing and, and it's like, when I started my journey with singing, I couldn't really sing

[00:48:55] the way I do now. That's been, over 20 years of devotion and

[00:48:59] cultivation and really getting to know my voice.

[00:49:04] And I know through singing in a way, people come to the work thinking, Oh, I wonder how I can improve it. And maybe what they quickly find out. Or, by the end of our journey together, it's actually, I didn't come here learning how to sing. I came here singing to learn about myself. it goes beyond the song. It's not about the song.

[00:49:27] It's not about singing beautiful. It's about the relationship you have to yourself and to the world around you. And, people do that in different ways. People do that through yoga. People do that maybe from being in nature, but my altar is the voice, and how to make that your ally and how To kind of bring it more into our life.

[00:49:48] And I know in, in certain cultures, i. in Western Conco, Western culture depends, like different traditions, like I guess, say the Irish, they music is really embedded into their culture. Singing together is really embedded into their culture, but in other places. It's not like that. It's like music is considered to be a hobby or, it's not treated as something as valuable as, I don't know, studying the academics. And I was never good at academics. I always struggled. But when it came to creativity. This is where I found my aliveness and this is where I was able to kind of transform from a very troubled kid into a very confident woman who, of course has her insecurities, but feels closer to herself. I know, I know how to relate to myself.

[00:50:42] I know, you know how to listen to myself. And I believe. These skills are things that I've picked up from singing, you know,it's a using the voice as a holistic tool. It's probably one of the most holistic tools that we have because it engages your breath. it connects you to your heart, it connects you to your body, it connects you to spirit. it softens the ego state, so it's really all encompassing. It's, And it's right there, right in front of us. And so, for me to create These journeys for people, it's I'm also learn learning as well. It's not that I come with all the answers because I feel like we are these vessels that contain so much information and wisdom. and sometimes through singing that puts us into this very deep state and it helps us to access other layers of understanding, so.

[00:51:40] the learning and the wisdom is coming from that person. I just create a container and give invitations of, to try different things, rituals or, something a bit more practical. But I like to make it very ritualistic, so that we go very deep into the space. and sometimes the simple act of humming, just humming, Can just help to relax the nervous system and bring us back into our body help us get out of our head.

[00:52:11] so yeah, this is something that I, that's my other baby that I'm very, I. passionate about. And It's always an honor to work with people that areand to challenge in a respectful way, like nothing is forced because obviously it can be really traumatizing and humiliating for people to feel that they need to do something that they don't want to.

[00:52:35] So it really has to be,centered around their needs and what's right for them. But it's a, it is a beautiful moment when you see somebody coming into the space and maybe what they wanted to share or needed to share is like this, guttural scream that they've been keeping in for years.

[00:52:56] sometimes it's not, like I said, it's not necessary about the song or singing in tune or it's giving space to the parts of ourself that we have silenced.

[00:53:06] whether it's from ourself or from society, so it's a real work of reclamation and healing and expression and joy as well. It's really fun. it's beautiful. as well.

[00:53:20] Nathan Maingard: I love that. I it's, you got me key, I would love to do one of your processes. That sounds really amazing. I feel. Yeah. It's inspiring to think of opening the voice up in these different ways. We coming towards the end here? And I wanted to ask you the question I ask every guest, which is when you hear the words, we are already free.

[00:53:39] What comes up for you?

[00:53:41] Nessi Gomes: Oh, that's a big one.I think it's a bit like,

[00:53:47] the end of my song, all there is love. Let's see. no, it doesn't say that. So what's the end of long way home? I'm not very good at saying the words. love is all there is.

[00:53:57] Nathan Maingard: Love is all there is.

[00:53:59] Nessi Gomes: Yeah. So I, what I feel about that is. Yes, on those kind of fundamental parts, like the foundation, like love is all there is and we are already free. Is that the right way of saying it?

[00:54:14] Nathan Maingard: Yeah.

[00:54:15] Nessi Gomes: I think yes, and I think, but there's all these layers that we have kind of, get in the way, our ideas of who we think we are and who we should be or, so that can get in the way of that kind of, that truth, that. That's that universal truth.

[00:54:36] that's my feeling. It's there. We gotta do the work sometimes to remember that. And I feel like,when I think about when I do the work with singing, I. It really takes me to that place. It really helps me to feel the freedom, the, aliveness that it's just these kind of constructs that we have created from ourself or from the world around us that have told us or put messages on us to say that we're not, that we're not free.

[00:55:09] so it's, it's there, but it can get easily forgotten.

[00:55:13] Nathan Maingard: Yeah. Beautiful. ESI again, I just deeply honoring your work and in fact, today's conversation has for me personally been an important reflection because I am being called evermore forward and into expansion and have been really wrestling those old voices and stories that are like very loud right now. and it's the only one who's saying it as me, the whole universe is refer all the people I'm hanging out with the guests. I have on my podcast, like every person in my world, in my life is Nathan, please keep going. Please keep sharing what you're doing.

[00:55:47] And I'm, and the, but those voices have been very loud. I'm actually sitting With the medicine in a few weeks time for the first time in a few years. And I feel like she's really gonna help me to find the, some of the root of what this, this story of not enoughness is for me. cause it's

[00:56:00] Nessi Gomes: I.

[00:56:00] Nathan Maingard: it's yeah. Thanks. Yeah. Thank you, Nessie. And that feels, it feels like a lovely reminder of just the humanness of us all, that we really are on this path together as Ramdas says, we're all just walking each other home. And I just I feel that. so thank you again. It's been an absolute pleasure and an honor to, to have you on the podcast.

[00:56:19] Nessi Gomes: Thank you, Nathan. Thanks for having me. It's been a pleasure also.

[00:56:23] Nathan Maingard: Thank you for joining us today, dear listener. I hope you found Messi's insights as enlightening and inspiring as I did. It's not every day that we get to explore such deep connections between our inner voices and the powerful transformation that comes from truly listening to and expressing ourselves.

[00:56:41] Today we traveled with Nessi from the island of Guernsey to the spiritual landscapes of the Amazon, uncovering how the power of singing can be a profound tool for healing and personal growth. We discovered how embracing our authentic voices can lead to a richer, more fulfilling life.

[00:56:58] Remember, every challenge we face is also an opportunity for growth and every voice, including yours, carries a story worth sharing. So share.

[00:57:08] As we wrap up today's Journey with Nessie Gomes, let's reflect about how we start our mornings.

[00:57:14] If Nessi's story inspired you to embrace your voice and gifts, my five day morning practice challenge is the perfect next step. It's designed to transform your mornings from meh to woo. Setting a tone of positivity and intention for your day.

[00:57:28] Imagine starting each day, feeling grounded and centered, feeling empowered to speak your truth with an open heart and a clear mind.

[00:57:36] That's what Adrian found through the challenge. Moving from frustration to a place of self acceptance and peace, appreciating the simplicity and support that the challenge provides each step of the way. Emma, another participant, rediscovered her motivation and focus calling the easygoing value pack lessons a game changer for her daily routine.

[00:57:56] Are you ready to begin your journey to more mindful mornings?

[00:57:59] Join us by signing up for the free challenge at the link in the show notes. Start your day empowered and aligned, carry that energy through everything you do and allow the gift of your story to be heard by us all. Until next time, I'm Nathan Maingard, and it's been an honor to be with you here today, remembering together that we are already free.

Nathan Maingard

Nathan Maingard

Nathan Maingard is a wordsmith giving voice to those who feel isolated and lost in these times of mass delusion and dis-ease. A breathwork instructor, modern troubadour (empowering songs, poems & stories) and ILS pro coach, Nathan empowers down-to-earth seekers to be their authentic selves. In this way we can feel, heal, and grow a beautiful world together.


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