Things are changing! AAAAH! For many people, change comes with a huge dose of fear (me). Fear of rejection, failure, or making mistakes (also, me). By the end of today’s episode, you’ll feel more supported and empowered to make the changes you need to (but perhaps have been avoiding due to that fear I mentioned earlier).
Speaking of which: Big changes are unfolding with this podcast! Listen on to learn more about change in your own life through the vulnerability of the changes I’m navigating right now.
In this episode, I explore the concept of change and how to embrace it. I discuss why fear and resistance to change can be so strong, and share a powerful saying from the Amazonian Huni Kuin tribe. I talk about developing a ‘growth mindset’ to help with change, and provide tips on overcoming the fear of change, such as understanding it’s OK, committing to the change, staying consistent, and staying flexible with changes that may not unfold the way you expect them to. I also discuss my own journey of embracing change, and use that to empower you further with a real life example.
Links to things discussed in this episode:
- Video on Growth vs fixed mindset: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUWn_TJTrnU
- More on Ksenia Brief: kseniabrief.com
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Image of Podcast Cover Voting results:
Topic Summaries:
(0:00:02) – Embracing Change
Exploring the concept of change, including why fear and resistance to change can be so strong. Discussing the idea that change is the only constant and sharing a powerful saying from the Amazonian Huni Kuin tribe, ‘Eskawata Kayawai’, which translates to ‘transformation’. I dive into the role of the ‘default mode network’, which helps us to maintain our identities, and how asking someone to change their mind is asking them to take on a heroic journey. To help with change, I talk about developing a ‘growth mindset’
(0:09:33) – 3 Steps to Overcome Fear of Change
It is normal to be scared of change, and I share 3 steps in overcoming fear: committing, being consistent, and staying flexible with the changes (that may not unfold the way you expect them to). I share an example of this through the changes I’m going through with my podcast and offerings, such as a new logo, podcast cover, and website.
(0:14:38) – Embracing Change and Transformation
On embracing change and how it can lead to greater opportunities, personal fulfilment, and the life you came here to live. It is normal to feel fear and resistance when it comes to change, but you can learn to be flexible. I share my journey of embracing change, and how, by sharing with my community for support and feedback, I’ve experienced a greater connection and excitement about the journey we’re on together.
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Transcript
0:00:02
Welcome to We are already free. The podcast inspiring down to earth seekers and free people to live their truth and be the change. I'm your host, Nathan Maingaard. And in this podcast, you will find vulnerable, informative, and authentic conversations with epic humans who are leading by example. Have you noticed that fighting against what you don't want only creates more of it while leaving you with no energy for the things that you actually care about? Are you ready to grow a more beautiful world with the people you love? If so, then listen on.
0:00:35
In this episode, do you ever struggle to change? Struggle with change that unfolds in your life. For many people, change comes with a huge dose of fear, fear of rejection, failure, or making mistakes. By the end of today's episode, you'll feel more supported and enabled to make the changes you need to make, but perhaps have been avoiding because of the fears I mentioned before. So this podcast is actually a solo episode and it's really about the changes that I'm going through right now. And as always, knowing that those changes are in service to you as well and knowing that sharing a bit of my own challenges and struggles along the way will help you in your own journey of change. Big changes are unfolding with this podcast. So please listen on to learn more about change through the vulnerability of the changes I'm navigating right now. A quick thank you before we get started. Huge welcome to Ruth. The newest, rooted, and rising member of the Patreon tribe. Thank you so much for your support of the podcast and that we are already free message. And all the work that I'm putting out into the world. I hope you enjoyed your freestyle poem and I look forward to sharing this journey with you. To anyone else listening to this. If you want your own freestyle video poem, access to bonus podcast chats with the guests, and videos sometimes full length exclusive videos of the podcasts, and also a shout out on this very podcast plus Heaps more, then head to the show notes for more info on how to join the Patreon. All of that, Plus, any important links related to this episode can be found in the show notes on my brand new website at already free dot me forward slash twenty five. That's just the numbers two five.
0:02:17
Without further ado, let's get to this episode. We're gonna cover the ideas of change. Like, what is change? Why do we fear it? Why is it so hard? I don't know if you've ever heard the same, but is a beautiful I think it was a Greek philosopher, heraclitus, who said that change is the only constant. And since I began working with plant medicines and more specifically with the honeycun tribe from the Amazon, they have the saying Escalatikaiwe, which simply means transformation. And realizing that that's one of their core sayings, these tribal people who are deeply connected to nature are still fully integrated into nature that for them, the acknowledgement that transformation is kind of core real core reality. It's one of the core truths of the universe. It's a really powerful thing to realize. So changes just this understanding that it's it's the thing that's always gonna be happening. Every moment, every instant, every breath And even as I'm saying it, I'm like, potentially, that's a scary thing to hear, and it is the truth.
0:03:18
We only and the reason we fear change and also what what makes it so hard is that we have this part of our brain that's like, I think it's called the default mode network, and it only develops a few years into being alive, being a human. And what it does is that it's it's where the kind of ego lives, the identity, this idea of the I am nath and you are whoever you are out there listening. And that default mode network helps with energy savings. So as an example, there's an exercise people do where if we see the picture of a face that is Concave. Is that the right one? Yo. It's like going inward instead of coming out. We will only see it for a moment and our brain says, no, no, no, faces go out. So we will start to see as we think it should be not as it actually is in that case. I hope that's making sense. But the default mode network helps to save energy by giving us the perceptions, ideas, identities, beliefs, that we've already developed along the way. So we had a negative experience once when we ate ice cream. And now we just go home. I just don't feel good about ice cream. I don't wanna eat it. And that's the default mode network saying, we had a bad experience. Let's not do that again. Or vice versa. Like, oh, I had a really nice time kissing my girlfriend yesterday. Let me do that again today or whatever that's story is. And so the brain has this identity that it's built, and it doesn't like to change.
0:04:39
The the the one of the core features of an identity of the ego is to keep us alive. So for example, if a lion is running at me, I don't have time to really think too much about what to do about that. The default mode network needs to kick in and make stuff happen. I need to take really quickly. My nervous system needs to come online. I need to run away or attack it or whatever the thing is that I'm gonna do. I need to act really quickly. So that's keeping me in a way the same by not letting me die by being eaten by a lion, by the same token.
0:05:08
Anytime I try to change my mind, there's a part of my awareness that says, I don't think we should do that because that means we're gonna die. The person we are right now will die. Which is true. We will become someone we weren't because we've changed our mind and therefore who we actually are. So it's kind of powerful I heard on another podcast episode a while ago that's talking about asking someone to change their mind and say, you, you know, you don't this what you believe isn't true, you should believe something else. That's asking for a big thing. You're asking someone to go on like a hero's journey and die to themselves as they were to be reborn into someone new who has a different perspective on things. So that's a really big responsibility to ask someone to change their mind. So that's part of the big thing is that and also giving thanks.
0:05:54
I I'm grateful for my ego, grateful for my identity that helps me to be Nathan. Because without that, I would just be this shoom, just the one observant being that is all itself happening to itself. And and we return to that and we come from that and, you know, that's all of the flow. But right now in this very moment, I clearly feel like Nathan, and that's wonderful. I'm grateful for this experience. So really embracing change is about accepting that everything is temporary and that change really is a natural part of life that it's gonna happen whether we wanted to or not. And the real pain comes in resisting that. And it's a practice. Of course, it's a practice many of us weren't given a way to practice change effectively. So one of the ways that I'm getting better at change and that I would invite you to consider if you haven't already is something called growth mindset, developing a growth mindset.
0:06:45
So to to illustrate that, when we were children, a lot of us had this experience of being told you know, you're really gifted. Like, you're so gifted at this thing. So, for example, maybe I was good at running. For example, I wasn't. But anyway, say that I was. And and then people like, why? You just really gifted at that. And so then when I was tried something else that I just wasn't good at immediately, I go, oh, well, I guess I'm just not good at that thing. So that's what's called a fixed mindset and and very simplistic. I'll put a link to another article about this in the show notes that kinda goes more in-depth into this. But that's a fixed mindset. I'm either good at something or I'm not. If I'm not fuck it, I'll leave it. If I am, yeah, then I keep doing it because I'm good at it. I'm gifted.
0:07:26
A growth mindset is much more this idea of I can change to become more of what I want to be and less of what I don't want be. So for example, okay, I found a natural affinity for running, if I did. But And then I try something else, say, I try sungwriting, and I'm really bad at it initially. And I go, okay, so I'm not good at this right now, but I know that if I practice and I keep doing it even though it feels hard and uncomfortable and my brain hurts and all these things, if I keep going, I will get better. That's a growth mindset.
0:08:00
It's the understanding that for many of us, for most of us, most of the things we ever wanna do is actually a case of just practicing, just doing it consistently. Committing to it, doing it consistently, staying flexible, staying with it. So some of the ways to develop a growth mindset that I use personally that have been very helpful for me You'll know this if you've listened to the podcast, but ice baths. Very briefly, an ice bath is like going or a cold immersion is going into a situation where I feel like I'm dying. And I choose to stay there and I stay calm and I have a positive output on the other end. So I realize, oh, when I choose to do hard things, I grow into a person who has really good experiences through those hard things and actually has better experiences in other areas of my life. So that's developing a growth mindset for me.
0:08:44
Breath work, obviously oxygenating the system, feeling myself as one breath flowing in and out of increasing oxygenation in my blood, increasing the flexibility of my thoughts, coaching, having a coach is super important for me right now. Being a coach is super important for me, it helps me to grow by coaching other people. Obviously, plant medicines, gratitude, forgiveness, and many other ways to grow develop a a growth mindset. It's really about practice. Practicing doing uncomfortable hard, healthy things consistently swinging kettle bells. Oh my god. I'm so addicted to kettlebell workouts.
0:09:18
It's changed my life, changed my physique, changed my body. I don't know if you're watching this as a video on Patreon, but if you can see this video, like, I don't know if you notice from my I don't know. I'm not that much bigger yet, but, like, my physique feels I feel like a different man. I have changed. Anyway, more of that another time.
0:09:33
So fear of failure. So what what prevents us from changing? This is really important This is like so important that we know what is the thing that's in the way of me changing. So the fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of making mistakes, These are super common obstacles to embracing change, and I know that for myself deeply. And again, this is about what I spoke about earlier, this default mode network, change is scary. I'm gonna have to die. Like, some part of me is gonna have to die. The old me is gonna have to let go so the new me can be born. That's freaking scary. So just accepting that and knowing that can be very helpful. And then the three little pieces that I think are super super helpful in to kind of overcoming that fear Well, first of all, it's just understanding that it's okay. It's normal to fear. That's the ego, the identity saying, I don't wanna change. And then it's committing. Commit to the change. Things are gonna change. I commit to the change. I can do this. I can handle this.
0:10:29
Then being consistent with whatever the thing is that's changing, showing up for the practice that helps you to flow with that change, whether that's your breath work, whether that's just practicing the thing you're trying to change into, whether that's practicing forgiveness for the stuff that's gone or that you've lost or whatever it is. Practicing that consistently. Commit to it. Be consistent with it. Stay flexible is the third one. The change may not unfold the way exactly you think it will. You lose something. You get something new. Something shifts new work. Old work for whatever it is, the the different changes that happen, it might not look the way you think it does. So stay flexible. Be willing to flow in different directions while staying committed and staying consistent. I know it's kind of a paradox, but it really, really does help. It makes it works.
0:11:15
So all of this is to come to I wanna share now, like, an example of this in real life, which is my change, the change that I'm going through right now. And it's I mean, I'm going through many changes and and always because change is the only constant. But in this case, I'm discussing something that affects you, which is this podcast. And overall my offerings in the world and how I show up. So so why am I changing? And what what is the change? First of all, my change is a new logo. I have a brand new logo. I have a new podcast cover. I've got a new font. I'm using new colors. I've got a new website. I'm relaunching my Patreon page or have relaunched Patreon. I'm also letting go of this idea that I was pushing around having a specific kind of online community that I was working on.
0:11:57
And if you're listening to this and you are in the we are already free community on on heartbeat, please know that I you know, I'm not dropping you. We're gonna move this forward in a beautiful way, but I've had to stay flexible because it just hasn't been flowing the way that I thought it would. The energy hasn't been moving that. I need to trust that. Very much inspired by Cassinia brief who is one of the guests on this podcast. I think she'll be next week's guest if you're listening to this episode. So be sure to check that out as well. She yeah. She really has inspired me. She changes her podcast covers same not regularly, but she's done it a few times. She's she's very willing to stay flexible and change while also being committed and consistent. It's been super inspiring for me.
0:12:35
So why the change? Why should I change these things? Why does it actually matter? I'm changing these things because I wanna better align with my personal values in the vision for the message that I'm here to share. And and the message I'm here to share specifically with you is down to earth seekers. The people I'm here to serve. So part of it is that the colors are different is a a softer. The the the cover with the butterfly, I love it. I love the butterfly. I love what it represents. And it's super bright. It's super punchy and golden and amazing. And I'm going for a more like blue gray background now, softening everything down. And it feels softer to me. It's more rooted. It's more grounded.
0:13:15
And my fear has been and even as I'm talking, I can feel that fear coming up. Fear that you you won't wanna listen to the podcast anymore because the cover's changed and everything's and you're like, who's this guy? He's not who I thought he was. He's weird. He's got his face on the cover now. He's a strange dude. I shouldn't listen to his podcast. I'm afraid that people who love me will stop loving me. That you who maybe has been admiring me or enjoying what I'm doing, yeah, there's a fear that you're gonna go. Actually, he's not as cool as I thought he was. The podcast isn't as great as I thought it was.
0:13:44
I'm worried that I'm making a mistake that this is actually a bad thing for me to do that I'm wasting my time that I should be focusing on other things. So yeah, it's really about finding stability within that, accepting that that's all true. And instead of running away, which is what I used to do, I would, I mean, I I would run from country to country, from relationship to relationship. Anytime that things got uncomfortable, I'd be like, if I just change the external things, then it'll be better. And I tried that a lot, pushing change, seeking change, change over stability.
0:14:16
And what's so interesting now is that I'm focusing it on a life of of solidity, of consistency, of commitment. And yet through that, I'm unable to be more flexible changing in different ways. I'm in a deeply committed relation We're on a piece of land. We're building a home. I'm so committed to those things. And yet within that, through that, I'm discovering more about myself. More about how I wanna show up in the world.
0:14:38
And so part of this change is the realization that this identity, this Nathan Main Guard, I love him. He's awesome, and he shines. And I want him to be able to shine this beautiful being that I'm here in body for this lifetime. So now I've got him. I've got me on the cover of the podcast. And everything that comes through that, all the messages. I realized that that we are already free message is one message of all many messages that come through. And I wanted to make space for all of them and to know that they all come through this beautiful being that is Nathan Maingaard. So for example, there is also the I am this breath message that's come through for me, the realization and helping to people to remember. That all we are is the breath we're currently breathing in or breathing out or holding out or holding in and we're just this breath happening. It's beautiful. I realize that you are the medicine. That's another message that I wanna give more energy to at times. Reminding you that you are the medicine that you seek. Reminding you that your body is not a mistake, that the body you're here with is beautiful and sacred and deserves to be honored. And then a a whole another piece I haven't shared yet, but the message that if you came here for a war, you came to the wrong place. And that's a poem that I've yet to share. But anyway, we'll get into that another time.
0:15:50
So why the logo change? Before I get into the logo change, I just wanna say one brief and very deep and heartfelt thank you to Vicki for your incredible support with these designs. Vicki has helped to design the new cover, had the new lot she designed the new logo. She's been amazing and very patient with me because we've like, I I struggle to settle. Sometimes I change too much. So thank you. Thank you. I really honor you. I honor your work and really deeply appreciate this. So okay, back to the logo. The logo is very simple. You'll see it's just very basic when you see it. You can either see it on the new podcast cover. I don't know if I'll have changed that yet by time this episode comes out. But but you'll be seeing it around, for sure, on the Instagram, etcetera.
0:16:32
And to me, that was came out of this concept of roots and the tree because I really realize more and more that it's not about high vibration. At least for me, I'm speaking for myself. It's not about let's vibrate into five fifth dimension and go beyond. It's about how deeply can I root into the darkness, into the depths of the deepest soil and find the nourishment that I need there to rise high into the sky, into the light as this beautiful, tall committed, dedicated, flexible tree? And that's where the podcast came from. This this honoring of both the dark and the light. Honoring the moon and the sun, honoring the interactions between them, how we move between the dark and the light, the roots, and the sky. So that's the the logo for me, and I hope that it inspires you and serves.
0:17:20
So what's the result of all of this? Like, what is what's the point? What has happened? So I faced my fear of rejection. By reaching out to my community, I reached out to you if you're on my Instagram, my Patreon, Twitter, Facebook, I reached out. I asked for support. For feedback. So if you haven't yet, you can see those posts recently, and I I opened it up like, what do you guys think of the new covers? Here they are.
0:17:41
And it was scary. And it was intense when people all had different opinions and I was like, oh, no. I'm making mistake. Everyone likes the old one. But that was also my mind because when I actually counted the votes, well, I'll share the results. I I took a screenshot and shared the actual voting results in the show notes. So you can check those out at, as I said earlier, already free dot me forward slash twenty five and see the results. And it kind of I was surprised It shocked it shocked me that what the one that got the most was because I talked myself out of it. I was like, there's no way that that's the one and it and anyway.
0:18:12
So I've been experiencing a lot more connection, excitement, and growth since embracing change. This particular change, showing that doing so really does eventually lead to positive civity to to to the things that I want more of in my life. So even if it doesn't look the way I thought it was supposed to. So I've connected with you more. You as a listener. Right now, I'm getting to have this conversation by embracing that change, by taking that risk. I know I'm sure that over time this is gonna lead to more people authentically connecting with me, with my messages, with this podcast, with the message of we are already free. I have to trust that. Even when I'm scared, even when if I'm worried, I still have to shop for that because I believe that deeply. So to summarize, embracing change can be and is and it is normal for it to be difficult. But it can lead to greater opportunities, to more personal fulfillment, to the life that you really came here to live.
0:19:05
And change is a synonym for transformation. It is the thing that we are always being invited to do. It is the only constant. It is the one thing that is certain in life is that there will be change. Another constant, maybe it's not a constant, but I think it's it's an important one. It's staying flexible to change. That's something that I can have in myself. Change happens? What can I do about it? I can be flexible. I can practice flexibility. So what are the practices that you can use to do this? As we've discussed, there's ice bars, breath work, coaching, plant medicines, whatever it is. And I'd love to hear what yours are. Love to hear what works for you, what doesn't. You can always comment on the show notes.
0:19:42
Fear is also a natural response. A natural response to keep You're safe. It wants to keep you safe. So fear is natural, fear is normal. It is not an enemy. It is normal when change comes, when transformation comes. It wants to keep you safe. But the reality is you didn't come here to stay safe. You came here to have a full experience of life.
0:20:01
So as we come to the end, I'd like to invite you to take a moment. Think about the areas in your life, where change is asking to happen, where transformation is asking to happen. Maybe it's a change you feel you want to make. Maybe it's a change that's happening in a way to you, although there's a different conversation we could have about that. But for now, just change in your life internally, externally positive, negative, comfortable, uncomfortable. Notice where that changes. Notice where you're resisting. What is the change that you're resisting or even the change that you want that hasn't happened the way you think it should. And take a moment to imagine how beautiful life could be If this change that is unfolding goes better than you've been allowing yourself to dream. Give yourself the opportunity to realize that change is gonna happen. It is happening. And if you were to surrender into the flow of that, if you were to be supported in the flow of that, what could that be mean for you? How how beyond your imagination and and to see if you can let yourself go there.
0:20:59
So take a moment. Pause the podcast if you want to. We're kind of at the end, but I have a little one more little thing I wanna share with you. So it may be pause and just sit with change for a moment and then come back for the last bit. Okay. Thank you for being on this journey with me, whether you posed, whether you didn't. Hope that this has been a value. This realization that change is happening, it's gonna happen.
0:21:20
Transformation is real. It's the constant, and it's gonna keep happening. So my invitation to you would be to flow with it. Let me know if I can support with it as well. So really the only other thing that I have to share is that I'm here for you.
0:21:35
If you need support, please reach out. I've rebuilt my whole website. I would love you to see it. If you go to the show notes, you will see the website. It's taken so much love and care and just, like, I've just gone so deep into my own authenticity of, like, this is what I want share with the world. I want people to come here and just know that I'm real, that I'm on this path as well, and my honor and my gift as my name suggests that Nathan, the gift, My gift is to remind you that you are already free to remind you that you're beautiful, remind you of your own gorgeous dance that you're dancing, whatever stage you're at, whether you're the caterpillar, the butterfly, or anything in between. So please do visit the show notes to share your thoughts on this episode to see The podcast cover voting results, which surprised the heck out of me, and discover other important links that I've shared in the show notes.
0:22:23
Find out how you can access bonus videos, extra chats with guests. If you wanna watch the video version of this and see my very enthusiastic hand gestures where I've been trying to avoid hitting the mic throughout. If you wanna get a shout out on this podcast, if you wanna even have me make up a poem on the spot for you, which terrifies me, but I also love it. I love doing it so much, but I never know it's gonna come out. Anyway, all of that is available at the show notes already free dot me slash twenty five. That's just the numbers two five. So yeah, thank you. Thank you for this. I hope it's been as as valuable for you as it has been enjoyable for me. Thank you for remembering that we are already free. I'll see you next week.
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